Quagmires
by aliceinwonderville
Summary: A Beka story featuring Harper and the rest of the crew. It's like a bunch of little stories wrapped up into one. Just read it, I think you'll like it, and if you don't, oh well, your loss. :) Rating to be on the safe side. All chapters are now up.
1. Chapter One

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters of the television show Andromeda, other people do. I am not making any money off of this, so don't sue me, I have no money and it wouldn't be worth it anyway.  
  
(Disclaimer #2: I don't own anything to the song "Pipe Dreams" by the band Travis. They do.)  
  
Author's Note: The story was done before Bunker Hill, however I didn't upload it until after Ouroboros. Just thought it would be a fun story to do. It was one floating around in my head for awhile, so I decided to write it and get it out of my head. Anyway, here you are, enjoy! (There are 24 chapters, which I will eventually get up, but most of them are pretty short).  
  
  
  
Quagmires  
  
  
  
"And it all boils down to the same old fear.  
  
Just a link in a chain,  
  
Just a puppet on a string.  
  
And it all boils down to the same old pain.  
  
Whether you win or you loose [it isn't gonna change a single thing]."  
  
—Travis, "Pipe Dreams"  
  
  
  
Chapter 1  
  
  
  
Harper enters the room with a flexi in his hand, passing by the rest of the crew. Beka sees the weird smirk on his face and gets up to follow him. He exits out of the other side of the room and enters the hallway, and doesn't seem to know that Beka is following him. Finally, he enters his room and is about to close the door when he sees Beka standing there in front of him with a look of curiosity upon her countenance. A few moments pass by and Harper reluctantly allows her to come in, after-all she is the boss.  
  
"Harper, spill," Beka says, turning to face him with her arms crossed.  
  
Harper hesitates again and Beka repeats, "Harper…"  
  
"Okay, okay. But…promise you won't freak," he says.  
  
"Don't play games with me Seamus. Besides you know I'll find out one way or another," she says.  
  
Harper takes this in truth and decides to talk, "Well, you remember when we all went to that major party drift about three years back?"  
  
"Gee Harper, we've been to dozens of those. Do you think you could be a little more specific?"  
  
"The Monahan Drift...?"  
  
Beka smiles a bit and nods, "Yeah, I remember that one. So, what about it?"  
  
Harper hands her the flexi and says, "That's why."  
  
The smile that once claimed Beka's face turned very serious and a little worried.  
  
"Wha— …how…?" Beka manages to get out.  
  
"It was supposed to be a surprise…I haven't quite got the coordinates yet, but, if you want to…I can," Harper calmly states.  
  
Beka stares in disbelief at the information she is holding.  
  
Harper sees the concern on her face and asks, "Beka…?"  
  
She finally responds, "It's just…how?"  
  
"How did he get this address? Well, that's simple," Harper says. "Your brother. Yeah, he sort-of gave me this and told me to give it to you on your…birthday."  
  
Beka looks up at Harper from the flexi.  
  
He quickly realizes and recovers saying, "Of course, I would never do that. Which is why I'm telling you now."  
  
"I don't get it though. We haven't spoken since…" Beka trails off, but quickly regains her speech and continues, "Why would he would he want me, though? Me."  
  
"Maybe he got real lonely, and thought of you and said 'Hey! Why don't give that old Beka Valentine a buzz to see what she's up to these days! And maybe I'll invite her over to my exclusive planet to—' "  
  
"Harper!" Beka scolds.  
  
"Hey, I'm talking from a guy's perspective here," he says.  
  
"Yeah, unfortunately for you, you happen to be talking from the mind of Seamus Harper," she adds.  
  
Harper thinks about this for a moment, then nods in agreement.  
  
Beka laughs and walks up Harper.  
  
"Harper, what would I do without you?" she jokes and puts her arm around his shoulder.  
  
Harper smiles and puts his arm around her shoulder as well, and replies, "Ah, you're not getting sentimental on me now, are ya?"  
  
"Harper, you really are a little phsyco."  
  
"Yeah, well, I try to be," Harper says as he smiles.  
  
They start to walk out of the room together when Beka stops and points at him with her free hand, "Just one more thing, why don't you want the others to know?"  
  
"Um… well, this is kind-of one of those things where you can't tell anyone where you're going or what you're doing otherwise they'd be in trouble or get really worried. You of all people should know that. I mean, it's easy to get to this place, or safe."  
  
"Yeah, I guess you're right," she says with a sigh. "So, when are we leaving?"  
  
Harper lets go and looks at her shocked, "You mean, you're actually considering it?"  
  
"Why not? I haven't seen the guy…" she stops to rephrase, "I just want to see him. It's…been awhile. It's not like I'm going to marry him."  
  
"Okay. We better get back to work, unless we want Dylan to find out what we've been up to."  
  
Beka nods and they walk out as if nothing happened. 


	2. Chapter Two

Chapter 2  
  
  
  
Harper walks up to Beka, who is strapped in the pilot seat of the Maru, "So, you're sure you want to do this? I mean, go see him…after all this time?"  
  
"Well Harper, its kind-of hard to ignore something like this," she says while pressing some buttons on the side.  
  
Harper nods in agreement, changing the subject a little, "I convinced Dylan that we needed a little vacation together."  
  
"I still don't understand why you didn't just tell him the truth. Its not like he could have stopped me."  
  
"Yeah, he couldn't…" Harper says.  
  
Beka looks up at him, "What's that supposed to mean?"  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"Seamus…" Beka begins—she knew he was thinking of something.  
  
"If I told Dylan, he would have told Tyr—"  
  
Beka cut him off, "Tyr? What does that have to do with anything? Tyr doesn't give a damn what I do, unless it endangers his life or something."  
  
"Hey, I've noticed stuff. Like the way he looks at you, and the way you—"  
  
"Okay stop right there! I do not do anything towards Tyr. And he does not look at me that way! We're just…well, something. We don't have anything…at least he won't have anything," Beka almost whispers under her breath.  
  
"Whatever. Better safe than sorry."  
  
Beka smiles and pilots the Maru out of the hanger-deck and towards oblivion.  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
They exit their last slipstream and arrive at a humble little planet. It beams with blue colors and white clouds swirl over the atmosphere. Two moons are offset towards the side, and the beams from the sun make the planet truly beautiful, creating even more colors within the planet.  
  
Beka stares at it with intent eyes and a slight smile, then yells back to Harper:  
  
"Harper! Is that coffee ready!"  
  
His voice answers a few seconds later, "Yeah, just a minute!"  
  
Moments later he comes in with a full cup of black coffee and hands it down to Beka, who is admiring the scene. He looks up to see what she is looking so closely at, and discovers it.  
  
"Wow," is all Harper could say.  
  
Beka unbuckles and leans back saying, "Yeah, wow."  
  
Harper quickly breaks the silence, "So, are we going to land or not?"  
  
Beka snaps out of it and replies, "Yeah. Yeah, just taking in the scene."  
  
"You could see this all the time if you'd marry him," Harper implies.  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"Well, yeah. I mean, you could marry the guy, and I could go surfing everyday…"  
  
"I don't think so Seamus. This is just a visit. Besides, I can't leave my family on the Andromeda. I have a 'mission' to complete, remember?"  
  
"I know, but it would be nice if you even could."  
  
"I don't think I'd even want to anyway," Beka says, then ponders Harper last comment. "But I guess it would be nice to have the choice."  
  
*  
  
About half an hour passes until they land on the planet. The people of the planet are very tight about their security, which is why it took so long for Harper to find a route to the place. When the hatch to the Maru opens, several men approach Beka and tell her that they need to go through her ship to make sure nothing that shouldn't be there isn't there. She reluctantly agrees and they go through everything. When they're finally done, one of the men comes up to Beka and tells her there were some weapons that were not permissible on the planet, but if she keeps them on the ship she'll be okay. He also says she may carry one handgun with her, because of some of the people that live here, but only one. Beka doesn't understand what he meant by the 'people who lived there', but agrees and signs a flexi.  
  
Harper looks at Beka and says, "They're pretty strict here, aren't they?"  
  
"Yeah," she replies, then quickly changes the subject to their visit. "Do you have the address?"  
  
Harper pulls out a small keypad and shows it to Beka, "Right here. 7 Gardenview Drive, Wakeman, Veruse."  
  
"I can't believe I'm doing this. What was I thinking? What were you thinking? What the hell was he thinking?"  
  
"I think he wanted to, um…marry you?" Harper says—he couldn't drop the subject.  
  
"Harper, please," she says and bumps him on the shoulder.  
  
They step off onto the planet and look up at the sky. It's as blue as it was outside the planet, and there is not a cloud in the sky. The sun is warm and Beka sees purple mountains off into the distant horizon.  
  
"You know, I usually hate planets, but this…this I could get used to. Talk about your Utopia," Beka states while looking up.  
  
Harper can't reply. He is too shocked at the beauty of the place.  
  
They finally make it to a cab and tell the driver the directions. When they arrive at the house, they cannot believe what they are seeing. Huge, ancient gates guard the entrance, and the house itself is an off white, with a very old design that is breath taking. Gardens and unique trees are everywhere, and Harper swears he can hear the waves of the ocean calling him.  
  
"This is like one of those 'white-picket-fence' fantasies, only a little bigger," Beka notes, then looks at all the flowers everywhere. "Trance would love this."  
  
"You never told me he was loaded!" Harper blurts out.  
  
"Last time I saw him he wasn't. He was just like you and me…only living on a drift."  
  
They get out of the cab and pay, get their bags, and move towards the entrance. They see the doorbell and Beka presses it.  
  
"Yes?" a voice comes from the voice box.  
  
Beka hesitates a little then responds, "Um, its…Beka, Beka Valentine. I'm here for Christopher."  
  
There was a pause and suddenly the gates open. Harper and Beka look at each other, then begin to walk into the area. As they walk in, a man comes out the front door and down the steps. Tall, with blue eyes that could be seen a mile away, Christopher comes. Wearing dark pants and a regular shirt (not something you would expect of someone living in a place like this), and his hair, blond and short, spiked a little but a little messy. Strong build, but not too much. He smiles and reveals his white teeth. The only visible imperfection, it seems, is the small scare, right on the corner of his left eye, from when he fell and hit the corner of a table when he was a child. Even so, it couldn't be seen unless you looked for it on purpose. Harper rolls his eyes at the model.  
  
Beka drops her bags just in time before he picks her up, hugging her. Tears almost come from his eyes and he is smiling so hard his face turns red. Beka does the same in return and they kiss quickly a few times before he notices Harper standing there.  
  
"Who's this?" he says gesturing towards Harper.  
  
"Oh, this is my friend, actually my best friend, Seamus Harper. And you already know Christopher here."  
  
Chris holds out his hand to meet Harper's and he accepts it. "I think I remember you…from a very long time ago, on that drift, right?"  
  
"Correcto-mundo," Harper replies in his witty self. "Hey, I think the man deserves a prize!"  
  
"Harper…" Beka warns.  
  
Chris turns and focuses on Beka again, "So, you got my message?"  
  
"Yeah, listen, I know…"  
  
He puts his finger on her lips to quiet her, "It's okay. I know. Believe me I know. You don't have to say anything right away."  
  
"Um, thank you?" Beka says, becoming a little confused.  
  
"Was it hard to find?" he asks.  
  
"Well, Harper had to find it, so you can ask him."  
  
"Okay, but let's go inside first. I'll get my bots to come and get both of your guy's bags," he says, then looks up to Harper, "Come, we must talk about how you found this place."  
  
"Let me tell you something, it was not easy at all…" Harper begins.  
  
  
  
The trio all walk inside as Harper is going on about how he found the place and how he thinks this is like the place he only dreams about. 


	3. Chapter Three

1 Chapter 3  
  
  
  
The minute Harper was inside, he started to run all around the place, like a five year-old kid. Beka and Chris smile as he yells out "Woo-hoo!" down the hallway.  
  
Chris turns to Beka, "I guess he's a little excited."  
  
"Maybe a little too excited for his own good."  
  
"Well, let me show you to your rooms. We can start with Harper's first. It's just up this way…"  
  
He leads Beka from the foyer into a larger room, where an indoor balcony surrounds the room, and a large staircase can be seen to the left leading up. Harper finally stopped running around at the top of the steps and is just staring at a huge painting of people, on the wall. Chris and Beka walk up the stairway, and Beka stares at the painting with Harper.  
  
Chris smiles and says, "I thought you'd like it."  
  
"It's very…very, nice. Where did you find something like this?"  
  
"I found an art dealer on Freeman Drift in the Milky Way, and the art lady said she managed to get it off Earth, and now I have it," he says and looks at Beka, "Beka, do you think we could talk? I just have so much to tell you."  
  
"Oh, of course. I want to hear everything."  
  
"Tonight then, at eight?"  
  
"Sounds good."  
  
Harper jumps in and says, "Hey, what am I going to do while you guys are doing…whatever?"  
  
Chris thinks for a moment then tells Harper that there is a party going on all night, just down the road. He suggests Harper could meet some nice women there if he wants. Harper gets excited at the idea and says, "I'm there!"  
  
They all laugh and Chris shows them to their rooms. Harper and Beka are in complete and utter awe at the immense size and decoration of the room, when they are shown the first one that Harper will stay in. The ceilings are as high as two stories of an average building and about twice as wide as the Maru is in its total length. Drapes hang down from the ceilings and enormous windows. Each room is actually like two rooms put into one, with the 'lounge' room when you walk in and the bedroom to the right through an open doorway. A large balcony, outside, extends over a garden full of colorful flowers, and the sun shines through the windows behind lighter drapes, making a really warm lighting effect. Also, the walls are painted with people and mythical creatures.  
  
Harper walks in and cannot believe his eyes and slowly makes his way through the room, taking everything in as if he was supposed to memorize everything for a test. Beka does the same, but instead decides to take in the beauty from the balcony. She is very surprised when she sees the backyard is a fairly large grass yard with the ocean coming up to the edge. Harper was right she says to herself. Willow-like trees off to the side accent the view, and Beka notices a courtyard down below, after the garden, with statues of people and some more plants that grow next to them.  
  
"You've really out done yourself," Beka tells Chris as he walks in next to her.  
  
"Yes, it is wonderful, isn't it? You know, you could share this with me…"  
  
Beka turns and eyes him with the same confusion from before, "I thought…never mind."  
  
"Sorry, I didn't mean to—" he began, but Beka cuts him off.  
  
"It's okay. We can talk about it tonight if you want."  
  
"Sure. Whatever you want."  
  
Beka leans into his arms as they both watch the sun set under the world. Harper, of course, is already preparing for the party tonight and before he knows it its eight o'clock.  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
Harper comes running down the stairs and yells out, "Bye!" to Beka and Chris, who are eating in the other room. The large door is slammed shut behind Harper, and there is silence once again.  
  
Candles litter the room, along with some relaxing music to set the mood.  
  
Beka interrupts the silence, "So, you cooked this all by yourself?"  
  
Chris smiles and responds, "Yes, I cooked it all by myself."  
  
"I can't cook anything, unless you count those instant-pop-up dinners as cooking."  
  
"Don't discount yourself. I couldn't cook much of anything before I came here either."  
  
Beka looks at Chris and says, "So, exactly how did you get here? The last time I saw you was on that drift out in the middle of nowhere, working in an old junkyard."  
  
"Well, a wealthy family came to me about a month or so after you left," he begins.  
  
"Wait," Beka interrupts. "A wealthy family came to that drift and asked you to come with them?"  
  
Chris smiles and answers, "Yes. I know it sounds weird, but that's what happened. Anyway, they asked me if I was any good at decoration. They said they had asked just about everyone on that drift, and a few drifts before that one, before they found me. I told them I knew how to do simple stuff like paint and choose colors. They where so excited that they asked me if I would like to work at their house. I, of course, said it was absolutely fine and asked where they lived. I didn't know what planet they were talking about, and they said it was because it was very hard to find, like trying to find Tarn Vedra almost. So, over the course of a couple years I became like their son. They taught me how to do things, like cook, and plant gardens."  
  
"I don't believe I'm hearing this!" Beka exclaims. "I just can't see it. I mean, you were just like the rest of us. Living from day to day. I guess I'm just really surprised."  
  
"It's okay, I was too."  
  
"So how did you score this place?"  
  
He pauses a moment, then answers, "When the mister died, about a year ago, his wife didn't take long to go after. And while lying on her deathbed, she signed away everything to me and told me to keep this place alive and well. Then she told me to find someone that made me happy and bring her here so we could grow old together in this place. Kind-of like one of those fairy tale endings. I contemplated trying to reach you for months. Then I decided to get out for a while and I ran into your brother on a backwater drift. I gave him a letter to give to you and the rest is history, as you know it now."  
  
Beka is speechless and her eyes seem slightly watered. She sighs and says, "Wow…I—I had no idea…"  
  
Chris holds her hand on the table says in a soft tone, "It's okay. You're here, that's what matters right now."  
  
Beka becomes a bit nervous, remember the part of 'growing old together.' She always gets fidgety when she gets nervous.  
  
"You know, I think I'm done with dinner. Why don't we move on to the living room."  
  
He nods and starts to pick up the plates and silverware off the table. Beka can't help but notice how much of a gentleman he is. She has been with so many creeps in her life. This guy is all too perfect. Maybe that's his flaw. Then again, he doesn't seem to have lost himself in all his things. In-fact, he seems more grounded now than he did before. What am I going to do now? Beka thought just as he came back in.  
  
"Shall we go talk now?" he gestured towards the living room.  
  
"More talking, huh?"  
  
The room glows with a golden-red brilliance from the dark red walls and several hanging chandeliers that light the room. Beka enters the room and notices a black, grand piano sitting off to the side on a Persian-like rug, almost everything were on rugs like that. She walks towards the piano with curiosity and starts to brush it softly with her fingertips.  
  
"Do you play?" he asks as he comes up behind her and wraps his arms around her waist.  
  
"No, it's kind-of hard to learn to play an instrument of any kind, much less a virtually non-existent one, when you're being chased by Resters, Nietzcheans, magog, and cops and just about everyone else in the universe, everyday."  
  
"Would you like me to play you something?"  
  
"Sure," Beka says and moves so he can sit.  
  
He starts to play and Beka watches intensely at his fingers stroking every key. The sound it produces is uplifting and saddening at the same time. Notes come together to form an irresistible melody of a type of internal torment. It is not happy, but it is hopeful as his fingers play the keys, up and down, slowly but quick. She has never heard anything like it before, and is a change from the normal music she usually finds herself listening to. When he finishes, she sits down next to him and looks into his eyes.  
  
Chris stares back and says, "God you're beautiful."  
  
He puts one of his hands onto her face and leans in to kiss her lips. Beka quickly allows her mouth to open, and she puts her arms around his neck. She hits the keys with her elbow and side of her body, making sounds of life shoot through the room of otherwise silence. They get up, careful not to break their embrace, and stand away from the piano.  
  
Beka comes back down to reality and breaks the kiss, breathing heavily, "I thought we were supposed to talk?"  
  
Chris tries to regain his bearings for a second and finally replies, "Right. You're right. We need to talk…"  
  
A long pause consumes the room and finally Beka steps up and brings herself close to his body, "Then again, talking is boring." She kisses him and he kisses her back.  
  
He picks her up and starts to carry her up stairs. He reaches the closest room to the stairway and enters it, closing the door behind him. The cool night turns to warm heated passion. Christopher lays himself down to Beka, and she responds with cries of love. The night was young, and what was to come was something no one could have expected. 


	4. Chapter Four

1.1.1.1 Chapter 4  
  
  
  
Early the next morning, Harper sneaks into the house quietly, hoping not to wake Chris or Beka. He closes the large door as softly as he can and walks up the stairs to his room. Before even touching the handle of the door, he looks from side to side to make sure no one was up, knowing he would get the biggest lecture of his life if Beka found out. No one, so, he proceeds to open the door, carefully trying to mute the sound it made. Harper makes it in, turns to make sure no one has saw him, and watches the door as he closes it just as masterfully.  
  
He turns smiling to himself and saying, "Man I'm God!" He walks into the bedroom and starts to talk to himself again, "I swear I am—" he stops short and sees Beka snuggled up to Chris, who's arms are wrapped around her body. "—Such a dead man, if they wake up right now," he finishes in a whisper, his eyes wide.  
  
Harper freezes and doesn't dare breath. He gingerly walks backwards the way he came in, opens the door, walks out and quickly, but quietly, closes the door. A little shocked, Harper swallows hard and starts to talk to himself again, "Come on Harper…it's not like she hasn't done this before. No big surprises. Hey, I knew this would happen with him. I could see it from the first time I saw those two together. Then again, I wasn't expecting to actually see them together. Okay Harper, you got to promise me that you're not going to say anything—Okay Harper, I promise—Shake on it," he holds up both of his hands and puts them into a hand shake, "Now, remember that promise—Yes Mr. Harper I will remember—Because trouble begins when you break your promises, remember last time…—Yes, Mr. Harper, I remember last time. It won't happen again—Good, now, let's get something to eat."  
  
Harper runs down the stairs and finds his way into the kitchen to make some breakfast. Luckily for him he didn't have to because the robots were already down there and made it for him.  
  
*  
  
Beka wakes up and finds Chris's arms still wrapped around her body. She smiles and gently kisses his fingers. He wakes up at her touch with a soft moan and smile, and pulls her closer to him. The morning sun greets them through the lighter drapes in the window, creating a type of brilliant glow. Beka wishes she could just hold on to this moment forever and never leave. Chris feels the same way. He buries his face into her hair and holds her for a while longer. He has never felt this way about anyone before. Most of the men Beka has been with were mostly jerks, and they would use her for pleasure for a night or so, then dump her like a bag of bricks. Or something prevented her from being with the guy, and she couldn't stay so she would leave and dump the man. One time one of her 'lovers' hit her because she refused to do what he wanted. She left him, but she never forgot and made a promise to herself that would never happen again. Chris would never do that she thought to herself, and took in a deep breath.  
  
"I love you," those words sounded so surreal coming from him at that moment.  
  
Beka's head was a little dizzy and only half-awake, but managed to respond, "I love you too." And for the first time, she said those words with true meaning to a man who meant them too.  
  
"Do you think we should get up?" he whispers into her ear.  
  
She groans on objectiveness.  
  
He smiles and says, "Neither do I…"  
  
"But we have to," Beka finishes. She sighs and says, "Okay, but, can we just stay like this a little longer?"  
  
"Yes, we can do that," where the only words spoken for what seemed like an eternity.  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
Beka walks into the kitchen with Christopher and they see Harper quietly eating with his head down. Beka sits on the stool next to the table.  
  
"What would you like for breakfast Ms. Valentine?" Chris begins.  
  
"Wow, I never had a guy cook me breakfast before," she says.  
  
"Today's your lucky day then! Now, what would you like?"  
  
Beka thinks for a minute, then answers, "How about the traditional, bacon and eggs?"  
  
"Comin' right up," he says and takes down a pan.  
  
Beka turns her attention to Harper, who hasn't said so much as a 'hello' since they came down, which was really weird because, well, it was Harper.  
  
"Harper? Are you okay?"  
  
Harper, with out looking up, says, "Yeah, I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be? I mean, it's not like I…" he stops himself before saying anything more.  
  
"It's not like you, what?"  
  
"Don't break your promise Harper. You know what will happen if you do…" he tells himself.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Huh? Oh, nothing," Harper says, still looking down at his plate. "You know I think I'm gonna go and see if I can upgrade those bots of yours, Chris. They could really use it. I'll be in the machine room."  
  
Chris looks up and slowly replies, "Sure."  
  
Harper gets up and walks out, leaving a puzzled couple behind.  
  
"Okay. That was weird," Beka says.  
  
Chris looks up at Beka, "Do you think he might have…come home early?"  
  
She shakes her head, "No, he was still wearing his clothes from yesterday." There was a pause and she begins again, "Unless…"  
  
"Unless what?"  
  
Her eyes widen with realization, "What room was Harper's again?"  
  
The realization hits Chris, "Oh, no. We didn't…"  
  
"Yeah, we did."  
  
"Should I…" Chris offered.  
  
"No, he'll get over it. It's not like he's a little kid anymore."  
  
He shakes his head in agreement, "Yeah, I guess you're right. Anyway, here's your breakfast. Hope you like it."  
  
"I'm sure I will," Beka says and gives him a little kiss as thanks.  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
Harper is down in the basement fixing up a robot when Beka walks in. She waits until all the sparks are done flying everywhere. He turns to see her and jumps back a little.  
  
"Jeez Beka, you scared me."  
  
"Afraid I was the Boogieman?"  
  
Harper raises his goggles and gives Beka 'the look' and says, "Ha, ha. Very funny. So, what did you want?"  
  
"Oh, nothing really. Just checking in on you, that's all."  
  
Harper grabs a wrench and starts to work on the robot again, "Uh-huh. And why aren't you with your…Chris."  
  
"He said he had to go get some stuff for dinner tonight…"  
  
Beka looks at Harper again.  
  
"Harper, are you okay? I mean, are you really okay."  
  
Harper puts down the wrench, turns, and starts to confess, "No, no I am not, Beka. I just…I saw you, you know. In bed with—you know…"  
  
"Okay. It's not like you haven't known about stuff like that before."  
  
"Yeah but its different now, Beka."  
  
"Different?" she questions the little man that stands in front of her.  
  
"Yeah, different. With all the other guys, you'd just leave them, or they'd leave you. I've seen you two together."  
  
"What does that have to do with anything?"  
  
"He's not going to want to leave you, and you're not going to want to leave him…" Harper trails off.  
  
The sudden dose of reality shot through Beka's body. What was I thinking? I should've known this was going to happen. Why didn't I pull back? Is Harper right? Of course he's right. God, what was I thinking! I guess its like they say, 'you reap what you sew.'  
  
Beka looks up to Harper with the sudden realization, "Harper, what have I done? What have I done?"  
  
Harper holds his friend as she sighs with a heavy heart in his shoulders. "It'll be okay Beka. I'll help you through this. It'll be okay."  
  
Great goin' Harper. Now you know why we make these promises in the first place—Shut up. 


	5. Chapter Five

1 Chapter 5  
  
  
  
Chris enters the living room to see Beka sitting on the couch drinking some coffee, just staring out the window next to her. The light from the outside seems to be dull against her face somehow. Beka watches as the few over head pass by, and the ground receive shadow except for a few small places. Then, the sun comes back out and stays that way for minutes at a time until it goes back into hiding for a few seconds. It's depressing somehow, but anything would be depressing to Beka at this moment; she didn't want to have to think of what she had to do.  
  
"Hey, what's the matter?" he asks and comes down to sit next to her.  
  
"You don't want to know," she replies in a pitiful tone.  
  
"Well, it can't be that bad," he says and leans in for a kiss, but Beka pulls away. Puzzled, he asks, "What's the matter? Tell me and maybe I can help?"  
  
Beka sighs and looks down at her shoes, "I…I don't…"  
  
"You don't, what?"  
  
"I don't love you," Beka closes her eyes and looks away.  
  
Chris feels like his heart was just ripped from his body and stabbed a thousand times all over.  
  
"You don't mean that," he chokes.  
  
"Yes I do," she whispers, still looking away.  
  
"No you don't, look at yourself. You can't even look at me. Beka. Beka, look at me and say that again! Don't you dare tell me you don't love me and then you can't even look me in the eye and say it. Rebecca," he takes his hand and gently places it on her face and makes her look into his eyes. "Now, tell me that again. Tell me you don't love me."  
  
"I don't love you," she says.  
  
A single tear rolls down the side of her face and off her chin onto her hand.  
  
"I'm so sorry," she barely whispers.  
  
Christopher gets up and just stares out the window. The same way Beka was earlier, looking up into the sky and out into the ocean. He can't speak and can hardly breathe.  
  
"Well, then," he begins in a low voice. "You should probably go."  
  
And without saying another word Beka gets up and walks out of the room. She stops at the doorway and looks back and shipwrecked image of Christopher standing mindlessly next to the window, just looking at nothing.  
  
"Farewell Christopher," she whispers to herself and quietly moves away and up towards the bedroom to pack. 


	6. Chapter Six

1 Chapter 6  
  
  
  
Beka is searching for Harper everywhere in the mansion, and finally finds him outside, working on a surfboard he found.  
  
Harper looks up for a second and sees Beka walking towards him.  
  
"Hey!" he yells out to Beka. "Check out what I found!"  
  
When she doesn't respond, Harper knows something's not right.  
  
"What's the matter?" he asks when she finally arrives next to him.  
  
"I told him…"  
  
Harper lets go of his board and hugs Beka. She begins to cry a little and Harper tries to quiet her.  
  
"You did the right thing, Beka. You did the right thing," he tries to reassure her.  
  
"Did I?"  
  
"Of course you did. You and I both know that being on the Andromeda is more important then anything. It's our mission."  
  
"It's times like these I regret ever joining his God-forsaken mission. It makes me wonder, you know? What if I never said 'yes' and just went on with the life I had. I mean, I could be happy for once, here."  
  
Harper doesn't know what to say. He just continues to comfort Beka in his arms, being the friend that he is supposed to be. Being the friend he always was and always will be.  
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
Beka walks into the house after a while, only to leave it again. She grabs her gun and decides to take a walk. Harper comes in the foyer just as she is opening one of the huge doors, and says:  
  
"So where are you going?"  
  
"I'm taking a walk," she returns.  
  
"Want me to come?"  
  
"No. And don't tell Chris either."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I don't want him to think I'm in some sort of danger."  
  
"Why would he think that?"  
  
"Because…"  
  
Harper eyes Beka with suspicion, and asks, "Where are you going?"  
  
"Just around the block. I'll be back in a few hours."  
  
"Alright,"—Harper gives up.  
  
Beka opens the door and shuts it behind her. She walks up the garden littered path and out through a side gate. Harper looks on after her through a window until he can't see her any longer. He leans back on a cylinder near by and slides down to the floor, looking up at the high ceiling in anxiety. 


	7. Chapter Seven

1.1.1.1 Chapter 7  
  
  
  
Chris comes into the room where Harper is, from the basement. He comes up behind Harper and taps his shoulder.  
  
Harper jumps and says, "Oh, god, you scared me."  
  
"I'm not God," he jokes.  
  
Harper looks at him and smiles a little.  
  
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to spook you. Do you know where Beka is? I wanted to give her something before she left tomorrow."  
  
Harper breathes in heavy and replies, "No, I don't know where Beka is. Is it something completely urgent that you need to give her?"  
  
"Yes—No, I just wanted to…" he stops and notices Harper is starting to sweat. "Harper, where is Beka? Did something happen? Is she in danger?"  
  
"Well, that depends on your definition of danger. I mean there's little danger, and then there's big danger. Now, little danger is like when you're walking and you cut your knee open. Big danger is when you're being chased by magog and Nietzcheans from both directions and there's nothing you can do to stop them. And then there's the middle danger which is kind of a mix—"  
  
Chris interrupts, "What happened?"  
  
"I'm not supposed to tell. Beka made it very clear I wasn't supposed to say anything."  
  
"Harper! What happened!" he yells, becoming aggravated.  
  
"Fine, she said she needed to take a walk around the block, to cool off. She didn't want me to tell you because she thought you might get worried and come after her," Harper pauses a moment, then asks, "There's nothing to be worried about, right?"  
  
Chris sighs, "This place has some…well, every place has their bad people."  
  
"What kind of 'bad people'?"  
  
"The kind that nobody talks about because they don't want to think about them. The kind that hide in the shadows and prey on the weak."  
  
"Beka's not weak."  
  
"No, she's not, but they would attack her anyway. I've got to find her, even if…" he stops himself.  
  
Chris runs to a closet and pulls out a handgun.  
  
Harper looks at him and gets up saying, "Well, if you're going, I'm going."  
  
Chris glances at Harper.  
  
"She's my friend. I don't know what I'd do if she were killed…or worse," Harper says.  
  
"Fine, just stay behind me, and get a gun."  
  
Harper obliges and they exit out the door. 


	8. Chapter Eight

1 Chapter 8  
  
  
  
Beka closes her eyes and shakes her head. The once blond hair is now red, as she looks at her reflection in a window. Her normal hair color seemed more fitting for her at that moment. She admires herself for a while then walks up the street to the corner. To her left, a large park with trees, and a small lake in the middle, is bordered by a three-foot high wall, which is decorated. To her right are a bunch of buildings, and allies that lead to the back. Beka spies a man off to the side, just staring at her. He doesn't look dangerous, in that he doesn't seem to look 'dirty' or like a normal thug would/should look like. She shakes it off and keeps on walking. The man begins to follow her. She begins to quicken her pace, but the man does also, catching up to her. She turns suddenly and draws her weapon out on the man, aiming it at his head. The man stops and smiles.  
  
"You know, I'm not the one with a gun pointed at my head, so if I were you, I'd stop smiling," she says.  
  
The man laughs, "You won't shoot me…"  
  
"Really? And why not?"  
  
The man swiftly knocks the gun out of her hands, taking it, and he grabs her body, bringing it close to his.  
  
"Because you don't have a gun," he says. "Now, you're gonna come with me…"  
  
"Think again."  
  
Beka slams on his foot and he drops the gun of to the side. When he looses his grip on her hands, she punches him in his face. The man, taken off guard, is beaten up a little at first, but quickly regains his composure and fights back, hard. They eventually fight themselves into an old alleyway, getting further and further away from the main street. He grabs her foot when she ties to kick him in the head again, and flips her on her back. Beka sees her gun and goes for it. He notices her going for it and gets the gun before she does and turns it on Beka. Beka, who is totally taken by surprise, decides to go with her instincts and fight the man anyway. She ducks the first shot, and plows him to the ground. The man, however, is too strong for her and ultimately defeats her, holding both of her arms over her head, straddling her waist.  
  
The man kisses her hard on the lips and says, "You're a feisty one, aren't you? Well, that's okay, those are best kind anyway."  
  
"You're sick," she retorts.  
  
The man ignores that comment and takes out a knife to cut off her clothing. Beka yells out for help, but it's useless. They're too far into the alley for anybody to hear anything, even if there were people out to begin with—it was noon and everyone was indoors. Just as the man is about the cut off her shirt, Chris runs at him hard, knocking him over and dropping his knife. They wrestle with each other for a minute, both of them taking a few hard hits. They seem to be making their way out of the alley and back onto the street. Beka finds her gun, but the two men are moving around too much for her to get a clean shot. Then, the man hits Chris in the stomach and he falls back into the street, holding his stomach with pain in his eyes.  
  
A person driving a vehicle sees Chris in front of him and slams on the brakes. Chris sees the vehicle, but it's too late. The vehicle hits Chris and he is thrown up on it, cracking the windshield, and rolls off like a dummy to the side.  
  
Beka sees everything and comes running towards Chris, dropping her gun on the way. She kneels next to him. A huge gash claims his forehead and Beka presses her hand on the wound to try and stop the bleeding. Christopher swallows and breathes hard, but short. He doesn't feel any pain, only numbness in his legs and body. His eyes can barely stay open, but they do none-the-less.  
  
"Christopher…" she says. "Don't die on me now. C'mon, pull it together."  
  
His body shakes, yet with all the trembling and pain he manages some words:  
  
"I—I love you, Rebecca."  
  
Beka begins to cry uncontrollably and she holds his hand.  
  
"Don't say that," she says—Beka knew he was saying that because he was dying. She figures if he doesn't say things like that, then he won't die.  
  
"I'm cold," he says.  
  
Moments pass by of soft quivering and sadness. All Beka can do is hold Chris. And then, the hand that was once holding on so strong lets go and becomes limp and the quivering body expires. His brilliant blue eyes grow pale and gray, and his chest ceases from rising and stays fallen. The only moving thing on the body is a tear, which rolls down his face, into his ear.  
  
Harper looks on at the two dead bodies that lay before him. One of Chris, and the other of the man that was going to take Beka. He had shot the man when he punched Chris in the stomach. Harper's eyes are sad and angry, and the people who come out of the buildings and walk by start to stop and stare at the scene. The driver, who hit Chris, already called for help and the noise of the help arriving can be heard in the far background. Beka continues to cry, still trembling, still holding his hand. He was dead. Life didn't matter as much anymore. After experiencing such a love, everything else seems dull and boring. There is nothing to live for, nothing to die for. Worlds become flat, and adventure becomes bland. Someone could come and slit your throat with a dull knife and you wouldn't feel it. The eyes become heavy and lazy, and sounds from the outside are replaced by the rhythmic thumping of the heart.  
  
Beka removes her bloody hand from his wound and lets go of his hand. Harper comes up behind her and kneels down next to her. When she leans back, he holds her and quiets her, until the people arrive to come and take his body away.  
  
The sun shines out of a patch of clouds and down onto the scene, as if a sign that everything will be fine. People huddle and the crowd grows bigger. Many of them have never seen such a thing, or maybe haven't seen it in a very long time. For those people, all the memories come flooding back and they cry. Not too much, just a tear or two, then they watch as the bodies are covered and taken away. They watch the woman cry and the driver feeling guilty. They see themselves unable to do anything and are so caught up in a whirlwind of shock and humility, that they turn away and head home before the sadness renders them completely helpless and dumbfounded. And as they turn away, they don't look back, they don't look up, and they don't look to the side. They just walk on and hope that things will turn out okay with the poor woman. 


	9. Chapter Nine

1 Chapter 9  
  
2  
  
3  
  
4 "Dammit, this is all my fault! I should have just stayed at the house. I should have never come here. I knew it, I knew it. I could feel it in my gut that something was going to happen. Why don't I listen to myself? Why wasn't I smarter? I should've known…" Beka criticizes herself. "What the hell was I thinking?"  
  
5  
  
6 Harper tries to calm her down, "Beka, don't blame yourself."  
  
"Why? Should I blame you?"  
  
"You shouldn't blame anybody. It's just something that happened."  
  
"I can't believe I was going to leave him. What was I thinking?" Beka looks up at Harper, "He was the first guy I've ever really felt something from, you know? He made me feel like a person; like a human being."  
  
"Hey, what about me?" Harper says.  
  
"You know what I mean."  
  
"I know," Harper says and sits down next to Beka. "You can look at it this way, he saved your life, and now you can repay him by living your life. Don't be sad forever. Besides, who else is going put up with me?"  
  
Beka laughs a little, "Yeah, and who's going to give you that raise you wanted?"  
  
"Exactly!"  
  
"Thanks Harper," she says and looks around the fancy room. "So, what do we do now?"  
  
"I don't know yet, but we'll think of something." 


	10. Chapter 10

1.1 Chapter 10  
  
  
  
Three months pass by, but what happened on that planet, Beka and Harper would never forget. Beka is on the Maru talking to herself. Then, Tyr walks in on her conversation. Beka quickly quiets herself and looks at Tyr.  
  
"So, you still haven't told me what happened when you were on 'vacation'," he says. "Harper certainly won't say anything."  
  
"Why should you care Tyr?"  
  
"Because ever since you've came back you've been moping around like you're going to die any day, and quite frankly, that's a problem. If you can't focus on your work, what will happen when a battle occurs? Not only would you be risking your life, but you would risk the lives of others, which would include me."  
  
"Tyr, I'm fine. Nothing happened when I was gone. I just…I needed to take care of some stuff and I did and now I'm fine, better than ever."  
  
"Fine," he says—not believing her answer. "But I will find out sooner or later."  
  
Beka looks at him in distaste as he walks out of the Maru.  
  
She holds up a small, thin cylinder filled with a purple liquid, then sets it down in a box next to her. She closes her eyes, sighs, and starts to talk to herself again.  
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
  
  
Beka enters the machine shop. The place is littered with tools and parts. Junk, basically, and in the middle of it all, a new project of some kind. The sparks from the metal and welder stream up high until Harper looks up to see Beka standing there. He puts down his tools and pulls up his goggles.  
  
"Hey, what brings you here?" he asks.  
  
"Um…I didn't know who to talk to about this," she begins. "Rev isn't here and Trance is too busy…I just needed someone to talk to."  
  
"Talk about what?"  
  
Beka hesitates, then continues, "You remember the, um, whole 'vacation' thing?"  
  
"Yeah. I'm listening."  
  
"You remember the night…?"  
  
"I try not to think about that…but, yeah."  
  
There was a silence, and Beka looks down at her feet then says, "I think I'm…"  
  
She takes a deep breath then starts again, "I'm three months late."  
  
Harper's eyes widen with complete shock, realizing. He begins to feel a little dizzy with everything racing through his mind at once. "Beka, why didn't you tell me earlier?"  
  
"I wasn't sure at first. I don't know what I should do. Maybe I shouldn't have it…it's not something I need right now, you know?"  
  
"Don't, Beka, listen to me. Don't kill that baby, please. Don't do the abortion. I know this is going to be hard, but you can't just get rid of it. I'll help you, I promise. Now, promise me you won't kill the baby."  
  
Beka doesn't respond.  
  
Harper repeats himself again, "Beka, please. Promise me."  
  
Beka nods her head, "Okay, okay. I promise."  
  
She walks over to Harper for comfort and they embrace each other out of friendship. A friendship so strong that nothing could break it. A friendship so unique that no one could have it.  
  
Harper takes in a deep breath, "Wow, I can't believe this is happening. What are we going to tell Dylan?"  
  
*  
  
… "Stop," Dylan tells Andromeda to the video, and the image freezes of Harper and Beka standing there together. "So, this is what you wanted to show me?"  
  
"I thought it was necessary," the Andromeda hologram says. "You should know what is going on between your two crewmen."  
  
"How could this happen though? They just seem like friends," Dylan says. "I never thought they were more than that. I mean, there was always a possibility, but, come on. Now, a baby?"  
  
"It seems that way."  
  
"How could I have let this happen? I'm the one who let them go, I should have thought more about what could have happened. Am I just blind? Can I not see things happening between members of my own crew?"  
  
"Don't feel so bad, even Tyr didn't know much."  
  
"Still, I…can't believe Harper and Beka would, you know, do something like that. It's just weird, that's all."  
  
"Are you going to speak to them?"  
  
"No, at least not now. Let's just wait and see if they come to me first."  
  
"Okay, whatever you say captain."  
  
Dylan turns, after Andromeda's hologram disappears, to see Tyr standing off to the side in the shadows.  
  
"How much did you hear?" Dylan asks.  
  
"Enough," he says, and starts to leave.  
  
Dylan yells out at him, "Tyr, you're not going to say anything, are you?"  
  
"Perhaps, perhaps not. We'll see."  
  
Tyr walks out the door, and Dylan mutters under his breath, "Great."  
  
  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
Tyr walks into command and peers over to see Harper and Beka laughing on the ground as Harper is fixing something. He rolls his eyes at the stupid so-called love they have, and checks on a few things at his panel. They laugh again, but Tyr can't contain himself.  
  
"And what is so amusing!" he shouts.  
  
Beka looks up smiling and explains, "Harper just told me a joke, that's all. See, there's this guy and—"  
  
"And so he goes into this place for something to drink—" Harper fills in.  
  
"Because, you know, he's had a really long day, except—"  
  
"He can't remember anything that happened two minutes ago—"  
  
"So the bartender fills a mug full of some beer, and goes around the bar table asking everyone to spit in it, including this guy—"  
  
"A few minutes later, the bartender asks this guy to sit down at a table, to order something, then she says she'll bring out a special drink for him—"  
  
"Only the 'special' drink turns out to be the one that everyone spit in, but—"  
  
"But he doesn't know that, because of his condition with the short- term memory loss thing—"  
  
"And with one, fateful gulp, he drinks it down and says 'thank you very much, it's the best drink I've ever had. By the way, what's in it?'" Beka finishes.  
  
They both chuckle and Tyr rolls his eyes, once again, at their stupidity in such tasteless, mindless things.  
  
"Forget I asked," he says.  
  
Harper looks at Tyr, "Well look who got up on the same side of the bed this morning."  
  
"Finish your work. Don't you think you have enough to deal with besides you being on my bad side?"  
  
Harper glances at Beka with a puzzled face, which in turn has the same expression.  
  
"And you," he points at Beka, "Shouldn't you be getting some rest?"  
  
Beka stands up, "Why? I've only been working for a couple hours this morning."  
  
"You're…" he stops himself. "You look tired, that's all."  
  
"Well, thanks for the advice Tyr, but I think I know when—" she abruptly stops and grabs her stomach. The quasi feeling churns all around inside her. She then abruptly runs out of command.  
  
"Like I said, you need rest," Tyr says under his breath, then he looks up at Harper, "Aren't you going to chase after her, or what ever it is you humans do?"  
  
"Uh, sure…I guess."  
  
Harper puts down his tools and walks out of command after Beka. 


	11. Chapter 11

1 Chapter 11  
  
Beka comes out of the bathroom and slumps herself on the couch in her ship quarters. She opens her eyes moments later to see Harper standing above her.  
  
"Rough day?" he asks.  
  
"God, you have no idea," she replies and looks at Harper, "What are you doing here anyway? Aren't you supposed to be fixing that thing in command?"  
  
"Yeah, but Tyr gave me a weird look and told me to come chase after you."  
  
"Why would he say that?"  
  
"I don't know. Anyway, I brought some water. Thought it could help a little with the, uh…baby."  
  
"It's okay, I don't really like the term either."  
  
Silence emits the room, until Beka breaks it:  
  
"So, do you think anybody knows yet?"  
  
"No, they would have said something if they did."  
  
"Yeah, you're right. They're going to find out anyway, you know. It's kind-of hard to hide a pregnancy."  
  
Harper laughs and they continue to talk for the rest of the evening. They talk about everything from their past lives, that are comedic in a sense, to the current situation. Nothing is left untouched, nothing over- looked. Talking is what was best, and talking is what they did.  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
Harper eventually talks Beka to sleep, and is beginning to get a bit tired himself. He gets up, yawns and stretches, and finds a blanket to put over Beka. Once he is done he leaves quietly and sets out for his quarters. On his way he runs into Tyr. Tyr looks down on the little man…  
  
"What are you doing out? I thought you'd be with Beka."  
  
"Why? She's asleep."  
  
"I thought humans always stayed near each other in situations like these."  
  
"What situation?" Harper asks.  
  
"Never mind."  
  
"No, tell me, what situations?" Harper asks again. When Tyr doesn't respond he gets frustrated and says, "Fine, I don't care." And walks away.  
  
"Humans are too complicated," Tyr says under his breath. 


	12. Chapter 12

1 Chapter 12  
  
  
  
"What happened to her?" Dylan asks.  
  
Beka is being moved on a stretcher. She is unconscious and there is blood coming from her forehead, which is stopped by a cloth. Dylan, Trance, and Harper walk fast to get her to medical.  
  
"I don't know," Harper begins. "Everything was going fine, and then a fight broke out at the bar. Both of the guys pulled their guns, and then all their friends pulled their guns and before you knew it, the whole place was chaotic. People were running other people down when they tried to escape—it was a big place. One guy must of hit her over the head with something when he tried to leave because when I turned around she was on the floor with blood around her and wasn't moving."  
  
"I shouldn't have let you two out of my sight."  
  
"What would you have done if you hadn't anyway?"  
  
Dylan didn't answer for he knew he couldn't have done anything even if he kept an eye on them.  
  
Trance opens the door when they finally arrive at medical, and they all enter. Carefully, they help set Beka on the table while Trance sets up. Harper can't help but feel at least a little guilty for what happened. He was right there next to her, but he was too busy trying to save his own ass to pay attention to how she was doing. His memories start to surface again of his parents, his cousins, and friends. Everyone that died except him. He wouldn't let that happen to Beka. Thoughts were beginning to burn a hole in his mind because of a playback of memories when a voice breaks the pattern.  
  
"Alright guys, you're going to have to leave the room now. I need some space to work," Trance orders.  
  
The two humbly obey and exit the room quietly while Trance works.  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
Hours pass by and everyone is allowed back in the room. Harper is the first one to arrive and asks Trance how she's doing. Beka was awake but dizzy and numb. Her eyes were half-open and there were bruises starting to form along the side of her face, along with the cut on her forehead.  
  
"Beka?" he asks as he stands beside her.  
  
"Harper?" she replies—very tired in her voice.  
  
"Yeah. Hey, how you feelin'?"  
  
"Like I just got hit over the head with a bag of rocks the size of the Andromeda," Beka says. "God, my head hurts."  
  
She lifts up her hand and rubs her head, only to find more pain. She winces and let's out a deep sigh.  
  
Then she looks up at Harper and says, "Hey, it wasn't your fault. I should've been paying more attention to things."  
  
"I guess…but what if something worse happened to you? I couldn't live with myself if—"  
  
Beka stops him; "It's okay. I'm okay now. A little painful, but not dead or anything, right?"  
  
Harper smiles and replies, "Right."  
  
They were silent for awhile, and no one else really had anything to say. So, that was all for that time. It is a hope and thanks that fill to the air at this point. Hopeful for Beka's recovery, and thankful for her condition to not be any worse. But what they don't realize is what happened, now, to the precious being that was growing inside. They did not know. They just try to make conversation instead, trying to take their minds off the subject at hand. Death was never in the picture of their minds, yet somehow it crept right back in where it had left off. Almost as if it were trying to finish off a line of people, coming full circle, hoping to come before any joy could be acknowledged of new life, but it already had. It is a dark and nasty thing, that death is. Yet somehow, it gives a sense of truth in beings, and is the instrument of hope and cruelty. There is no death without life, and there is no life without death. A circle, it seems, that goes around and around, being as it is with no intent but to take life and leave with no remorse or mercy. 


	13. Chapter 13

1 Chapter 13  
  
The following days, Beka recovered. Not fully, but well enough none- the-less. She found her way to the Maru that day after being released from medical. It was the place she could go to think and clear her mind of the universe and its chaos. Somehow, she always could just feel that way when she came here. It was her home, her heart. The center of what it meant to be alive for Beka. And as she was mindlessly wondering through her thoughts, something unexpected happened…  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
Harper decides to come in and check up on Beka. He figures she must be on the Maru and walks on over, allowing himself in when he gets there. When he steps in, he hears a familiar sound that he would trade anything not hear again, Beka crying. She is in the shower area sitting down, though the shower is not running. When Harper comes around the corner to see what is wrong, all he sees is blood and Beka sitting on the floor of the shower, crying and almost shaking. He knew what had happened.  
  
"Beka?" he finally says.  
  
She doesn't respond though, nor does she look up. Instead, she stops making noise and just lets the tears go.  
  
Harper doesn't know what to say, so he comes down and sits next to her, putting one arm around her shoulder and using his other free hand to hold her hand. Beka curls into him, just letting all the water shed from her eyes, down her face and onto her clothes.  
  
"I'm so sorry," Harper barley whispers.  
  
That was all that was said all the time they were there. No one came in to interrupt them; thinking she and Harper were just talking. They had no reason to find Beka anyway. No battles occurred while they were sitting there, and they were not going on any shoreleave trip. It seemed things would loose their touch all of a sudden, become tasteless and normal again. Beka couldn't understand why. That was the one word that kept running through her head over and over again. Why? After all the contemplation of deciding whether or not to keep the baby, it suddenly disappears. She feels like life has just played a cruel joke on her all of a sudden. First the man she loved, now the child she never got to know. Why? 


	14. Chapter 14

1.1.1.1 Chapter 14  
  
  
  
After a few hours, Beka and Harper return to command. Beka told Harper not to say anything and he promised he wouldn't. There were many things that he couldn't keep a promise on, but this is one of the few things that he can keep. They cleaned up the mess, and walked into the command area as if nothing happened; though Andromeda knew something was happening. She didn't know specifically, but she knew it had something to do with Beka.  
  
"Beka, you're finally back," Dylan says. "Feeling better?"  
  
Beka hesitates at the question for a second, then answers, "Yeah. Yeah, I'm good."  
  
"Good," he replies.  
  
Tyr eyes Beka suspiciously. He knows that tone in her voice, and wasn't about to let his well being go into jeopardy just because she couldn't focus on her task.  
  
"No she's not," Tyr says.  
  
"What?" Dylan asks surprised.  
  
"She lied to you. I recognize the nervous tones in her voice. She's not alright."  
  
Dylan turns to Rommie, "Rommie?"  
  
"She has had an elevation in heart-rate since she's gotten here, and her shifting movements would suggest that she is not telling the truth," Rommie replies.  
  
"You should probably take her back to medical, just to get another check-up. Make sure she's fine. Then she can come back after Trance says it's okay."  
  
"I don't need to go get a 'check-up'," Beka protests. "I'm fine, I just…"  
  
Beka pauses a moment.  
  
Dylan walks over to Beka, "What? You just, what?"  
  
"Nothing," she answers.  
  
Harper is about to say something, but is cut short by a piercing look from Beka.  
  
"Well, if you're not going to tell me, then you're going back to medical. I'm not going to risk the lives of the other members of my crew just because one of them couldn't do their job because they didn't feel well."  
  
"Fine, I'll go to bed and catch up on some sleep or something, but I'm not going back to medical."  
  
"Why don't you want to go to medical?"  
  
Beka thinks for a moment on that question, then answers, "Because it's depressing. Every time I go there I think of someone sick or someone dying. It's not the happiest place I want to be in."  
  
Dylan considers her answer and decides to allow her to just rest instead. Besides, he wasn't going to get into a fight about this. He had enough on his mind as it was. Beka walks out of command as soon as he said it was okay. Everyone knew something happened, but Harper was the only one who knew for certain what had happened. They all look at Harper when she leaves and the door closes behind her. He can feel all their eyes on him. It's an eerie feeling, really. Harper just looks up and around at them.  
  
"What?" he finally asks.  
  
Dylan is the first to reply, "What happened to Beka?"  
  
"I-I don't know. Why should I know? I don't know."  
  
"Harper…" Dylan warns—he knows he's lying. Anyone could tell he was lying.  
  
"I promised not to tell, and I won't tell. Why don't you just ask Beka if you want to know so bad?"  
  
"We just did. She said she was 'fine', remember?"  
  
"Oh, right."  
  
Rommie intervenes and says, "Harper, we need to know what's going on."  
  
"Look, she's my friend, okay. She's been my friend for over five years now, and she's the only one I know that can put up with me on a regular basis. And if she says 'Harper, promise', then Harper's going to promise, and when he doesn't keep his promises he gets a major lecture… The point is, I'm not going to go against my best friend's trust on something like this," Harper says. "If she wants it to be known, then she'll tell you herself. So, if you don't mind, I'm going to go now because I don't want to be interrogated anymore by you people."  
  
Harper begins to walk out, when Tyr becomes impatient with him.  
  
"We know she's pregnant," he says calmly, but audible.  
  
Harper stops dead in his tracks, while Dylan shoots a look to him.  
  
"Tyr," Dylan begins, but Tyr cuts him off from saying anymore.  
  
"This was getting ridiculous," he says.  
  
Harper slowly turns around and faces the crew.  
  
"How did you…how did you know?" he asks.  
  
"A few weeks ago, I was doing routine check-ups on all the decks," Rommie began, "And I began over-hearing your conversation with Beka about something. I recorded it and gave it to Dylan to look at. Tyr over-heard, and Trance found out when she was getting her back to health just a few days ago."  
  
Harper just gawks at the new information.  
  
"Why didn't you say anything?" he finally asks.  
  
"Because we didn't want you two to run away," Dylan says.  
  
"Run away? Why would we run away?"  
  
"If you got scared or something. I didn't want to take any chances. I figured one of you could come forward and say something before…" he trails off.  
  
"Oh, so then I guess you know who the father is then."  
  
"Yes, we do."  
  
"You know, she's been through a lot in the past few years. I just wanted to give her something that would make her happy, but it ended just totally screwed up," Harper says—referring to the trip to Christopher's place.  
  
Dylan and the rest look at each other, still thinking he is (was) the father.  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"Well, first, Chris died, and then she found out she was—"  
  
"Wait, wait. Who's Chris?"  
  
"The father," Harper says slowly. "I thought you said you knew."  
  
"We thought you…never mind," Dylan says.  
  
Harper smiles in realization.  
  
"You thought I was the father?" Harper can hardly contain himself to keep from laughing. "Well, that explains a lot."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Tyr was always telling me to go look after her and stuff."  
  
Dylan looks at Tyr, whom is looking off to the side in embarrassment. He is Nietzchean after all, the superior ones. The room was silent for a while, then Harper looks at Rommie.  
  
"So, you were spying on us?" Harper says.  
  
"I wasn't 'spying', I was doing routine check-ups on all the rooms on the ship," Rommie replies.  
  
Harper smiles a little, "Sure you were…" Then he turns to leave.  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?" she yells out to Harper, who has already gone through the door.  
  
The three people just take in the information they have just heard. Tyr walks out of command suddenly. Dylan lets him go, trying to avoid any more talk. 


	15. Chapter 15

1 Disclaimer: I don't own the song "One Day I'll Fly Away", performed by Nicole Kidman in the musical motion picture Moulin Rouge. The people who wrote and worked on it do.  
  
2  
  
3  
  
4 Chapter 15  
  
"I follow the night,  
  
Can't stand the light.  
  
When will I begin  
  
To live again?  
  
One day I'll fly away,  
  
Leave all this to yesterday…  
  
…Why live life from dream to dream,  
  
And dread the day when dreaming ends?"  
  
—Nicole Kidman, "One Day I'll Fly Away"; Moulin Rouge  
  
  
  
  
  
"I'm sorry…"  
  
Beka opens her eyes wide from her dream. She could have sworn that was Chris's voice. Shrugging a bit, she rolls back her eyes and turns over on her back. Great, now I'm never going to get back to sleep. And on my weekend off… Beka gripes to herself.  
  
The sun shines through the window in the other room, and a little girl comes running in…  
  
"Mommy!" she yells, and jumps up on top of Beka.  
  
"Oh, honey, mommy was sleeping. Let mommy sleep."  
  
The little girl smiles and returns, "No you weren't. You had another bad dream, I saw you wake up."  
  
Beka breathes in deeply and smiles, "Yeah, you caught me." She opens her eyes more and focuses them on Alexis, noticing that her hair color is purple. "Alexis, what's this?" she asks, taking a portion of Alexis's hair in her fingers.  
  
"Trance said it would look cute," she responds.  
  
"Well, I guess its fine."  
  
The little girl becomes silent.  
  
Beka eyes her, "What is it?"  
  
The little girl hesitates for a moment, then asks, "Can we go see Uncle Harper in the contest?"  
  
"Hmm, I don't know…" Beka teases.  
  
"Please…" she begs.  
  
"Well, since you said 'please', I guess we could go."  
  
Alexis gets excited and hugs Beka, then tells her, "Harper said if I come he'd give me a throne!"  
  
"Why would he do that?" Beka questions.  
  
"Because…oops," she covers her mouth. "I'm not supposed to say anything."  
  
Beka whispers, "Why not?"  
  
"Harper said he would get in trouble because it would be gam-eling," Alexis whispers back.  
  
Beka smiles at the innocence, and says, "Did he happen to mention anything about a dress?"  
  
"Oh yeah! That's right, you're supposed to wear a dress too!"  
  
"Man, he's gonna pay for this…" Beka says under her breath.  
  
"And he said you have to have the same color hair as me!"  
  
"All this for one throne?"  
  
"No, he said he'd give me an extra one if you changed your hair to mine."  
  
"Well," Beka looks at the time, "the show isn't until this afternoon, so, what should we do 'till then?"  
  
Alexis thinks for a minute, then answers, "Go to the beach! We can watch Uncle Harper practice for the contest!"  
  
"Okay, we can go there, but mommy has to get ready first, okay?"  
  
"Okay!" she hops off and runs into the other room to tell Trance.  
  
Beka smiles and gets up to get dressed.  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
The beach waves roar and moan against the sand. The trees give shade all up and down the shoreline. Clouds conceal the bright sun, then the sun comes out, and the clouds cover it, then the sun comes out again as if the two are fighting for the front. Beka walks up the shore, by herself, with bare feet against the warm sand. The waves roll in and touch her toes, as she looks back to see Trance and Alexis playing in the sand. Harper is surfing, showing off by going on the end of his board and flinging his arms up in the air on a fairly small wave, as if dancing. Beka smiles and walks quietly some more.  
  
"You seem happy," a voice from her side interrupts the silence.  
  
Beka responds, "I am."  
  
"That's good. How is Alexis?"  
  
"She's happy. I think she misses her father though…"  
  
Beka looks down, then out to sea, still walking along.  
  
"She misses me?"  
  
"Yes. I miss you too, you know. It's my fault you died…"  
  
"You didn't kill me, it's not your fault. Nothing that happened that day is your fault. You had to leave me, I understand."  
  
Beka shakes her head in agreement, sort-of.  
  
"I know," she says. "I guess it just didn't work out, right?"  
  
"No, I guess it didn't."  
  
"She's learning how to pilot now. I think she's a natural."  
  
Chris smiles, and says, "She gets it from you."  
  
"Gets what from me?"  
  
"Your personality, talent…looks."  
  
"No, she gets that from you. Those eyes of hers…yeah, they're yours. Every time I look into them I see you."  
  
Christopher stops Beka from walking and looks into her eyes.  
  
He says, "Do you really think so?"  
  
Beka smiles.  
  
"You should smile more. You look good when you smile," Chris says.  
  
"Well, then I'll smile more."  
  
Chris looks at her for a moment then says:  
  
"She couldn't have a better mother."  
  
Beka returns the statement, "She couldn't have a better father, either."  
  
"Beka!" a sound from the distance behind her makes her turn. Trance is yelling out to her. Harper begins to yell too, and Alexis joins in. Beka begins to walk towards them, but before she does, she turns to find Christopher. He isn't there. He was never there. Only the sounds of the ocean tides swishing up against the shore. Beka smiles and proceeds on down to her friends to make sense of their outburst.  
  
Beka arrives to greet them:  
  
"Okay, I'm here. What's going on?"  
  
"Harper did his possible-impossible trick!" Trance excitingly says.  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yeah," Harper chimes in. "And I did it with a huge wave too."  
  
"Wow. So, let's see it then!" Beka says.  
  
Harper jumps up and grabs his board. He swims out onto the blue-green ocean and waits for the right wave. When it finally comes, he gets up and starts surfing. He loves surfing. Any chance he can get he surfs. The warm ocean sprays against his legs and body, then face. This ocean isn't salty, however. It is very fresh and clean. The yellow sun comes out from hiding, winning the fight for a moment, and blends with the blue wave to make a brilliant green shade. The point comes; Harper does his trick. This trick is completely left up to the imagination, since it is one that has never been completed before or seen before to any eye. Harper lands back onto the end of the ocean's wave, and trails off to the side. He gets off with a wide smile on his face, holding his board in one hand, and waving his other hand up into the air.  
  
Trance, Alexis, and Beka all are clapping for his accomplishment. Alexis runs up to Harper, and she being so small, Harper lifts her up with his one arm and carries her back to the site. He sets her down gently and sticks his board into the warm sand.  
  
"Now was that good, or was that good?" Harper boasts.  
  
"That was incredible!" says Beka.  
  
"I am so going to win that competition today! I can just feel it, you know?"  
  
Alexis jumps onto Harper's lap, whom of which is now sitting, and says:  
  
"Uncle Harper, look."  
  
She holds up her hand and it shines with a bright brilliance. When she opens it up, a kind of butterfly comes out of it. Its colors dazzle the mind and glow with might. She hands it over to Harper. He takes it with care and smiles at it and Alexis.  
  
"Give it mommy now," she whispers.  
  
Harper hands it over to Beka, who also takes it with careful hands.  
  
"Let it fly," she whispers to Beka.  
  
"Why?" Beka replies.  
  
"Trust me."  
  
"I trust you."  
  
Beka opens her hand up more and the butterfly begins to flap its wings a little, but it doesn't leave.  
  
"Why won't it leave?" Beka asks.  
  
"Because you don't want it to leave," the little girl answers. "You have to want it to leave. Try it again."  
  
Beka closes her eyes and concentrates. The butterfly slowly starts to flap its wings again, with each intake getting faster and faster until it lifts itself up off of her hand. Beka opens her eyes and smiles slightly. She watches as it seems to float out into the air and off into the sun.  
  
"See, it's free now," the little says after a moment.  
  
"Yeah, free…"  
  
Harper then gets up from the ground and runs off into the water after ousting his board from the sand. Beka watches him surf some more, and looks over to Alexis playing with the sand off to the side, and the sun still rising as the afternoon approaches. 


	16. Chapter 16

Okay, yes, this is an extremely short chapter, but I didn't want to add it to the next one as part of that chapter, and I didn't want to put it in the one before, so I just created my own little chapter for it. (  
  
  
  
Chapter 16  
  
  
  
Beka wakes up with a slight smile on her face.  
  
"Wouldn't that be nice…" she says to herself.  
  
Her mind still lingers on the last few scenes of her dream. A dream, not reality. It could never be reality for Beka. Not in this universe at least. Then her smile fades and she rolls over onto her side and stares up at the ceiling with a pain stricken face. She observes it for a moment and begins to see it moving somehow, like a small, pixilated twisting motion. It was not a dream, but clouded her thoughts and made things sort of surreal. After a minute or two, Beka decides she's too tired to get up yet and turns back over on her side and closes her eyes to re-enter the place of gray colors and abstract lies. 


	17. Chapter 17

1 Chapter 17  
  
  
  
There was a knock on the door. Beka woke up, moaning a bit in protest, but after another knock she gets up and heads over to the door. When she opens it, she is surprised when she finds Tyr standing there.  
  
"Tyr?" she says.  
  
"That is correct," he replies.  
  
Beka just looks at him.  
  
After a moment, Tyr asks, "May I come in, or are you just going to stand there?"  
  
"Oh, sorry. Come in."  
  
She steps off to the side and Tyr enters her quarters of the Andromeda. He finds his way to the couch and sits down. Beka follows and sits in a chair, opposite to Tyr.  
  
"So, what did you want to talk about?" Beka finally asks.  
  
"I actually came to…apologize," he says.  
  
"Apologize?" Beka was shocked when she heard him say that. "Apologize for what?"  
  
"For thinking Harper was the father of your child."  
  
Beka suddenly becomes uncomfortable and looks off to the side. At first she just moves around in her seat, then gets up and begins to pace the room slowly.  
  
"Harper told you I was pregnant?"  
  
"No, I heard you talking about it with him in the machine shop room not too long ago. I assumed he was the father, based on the conversation. He corrected me and I am embarrassed. So now I'm here. I'm sorry."  
  
"Did he say anything else to you?" Beka asks—she seemed more concerned about something else than to notice that he had just apologized.  
  
"No," Tyr says. "Is something else the matter?"  
  
Beka looks up at him, "Why would you think that?"  
  
"Because I just said I was sorry, something that doesn't happen everyday, and you didn't seem to notice it. I would've thought you would have at least said something to me when I said that. This leads me to believe that something it wrong. Now, is there?"  
  
Beka sits down, staring away from Tyr. She doesn't say anything, and just stares at the wall.  
  
"Beka," he says.  
  
There is a pause, then finally, Beka speaks:  
  
"I'm not…" she tries to begin. "I'm not going to have a baby."  
  
"Why?" Tyr asks and sits up in his seat. "Don't you want a child?"  
  
"I don't know…I mean, I thought about it and then I decided 'sure, why not?' and went on thinking about how it would kind of be nice to have a little kid for a change. Then…then it just went away, I guess you could say," Beka says, almost choking on her words. "The baby died because the universe is shit."  
  
Tyr could tell she was holding back the tears in her eyes.  
  
"God, I even had a name picked out and everything," she continues. "Life is cruel, you know that? It's just so damn cruel. Sometimes, I think its trying to deprive me of happiness, you know? I guess all my sins are catching up to me, and it's more than I can take."  
  
Tyr gets up and walks over to Beka's seat. He sits down on the small table in front of her and makes her look at him.  
  
"Sometimes life has a twisted sense of humor, I have found. But as they say, things always get worse before they get better. Just wait and see."  
  
He gets up and walks towards the door. Beka looks at him go and gives a smile of some slight hope that he has just given her.  
  
Before he leaves completely through the door, she speaks out to him, "Thank you. For the apology, I mean."  
  
He stops and replies; "You're welcome."  
  
The door closes, and Beka turns back and her thoughts begin to wonder, starting with her dream. 


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18  
  
The next day, Beka tries to find Rommie about a dress she must wear to the dinner with the Karachuran that evening. She finally finds her strolling the halls, checking the systems as she goes.  
  
"Rommie," Beka says. "Hey, listen, I've been looking everywhere for you. About this dress…"  
  
She holds it up. It's a dark navy blue, very sleek in design and looks somewhat movable to be in.  
  
"What about it?" Rommie replies.  
  
"I can't wear this."  
  
"Beka you have to wear—"  
  
"A dress, I know, but would it matter if I wore my regular clothes? I mean, really, it's not like it would matter anyway, right? They wouldn't care. I bet they won't even dress up."  
  
"Why don't you like to wear dresses?" Rommie asks.  
  
Beka ponders the question a second.  
  
"Well…it's not that I don't like to wear them, I just prefer not to if I can. It makes me look…I don't know…like I'm just some vulnerable girl that's just an object to look at. I don't know."  
  
"I would like you to wear the dress, but you don't have to if you don't want to."  
  
There was a pause, and Rommie notices Beka staring at the floor.  
  
"Is something wrong," she asks Beka.  
  
"Me? No. Just, thinking about things."  
  
"Somehow I get the impression you didn't come to me to talk about a dress."  
  
Beka looks up, and replies, "What if I said yes?"  
  
"Do you want to talk about it?"  
  
"I've already talked about it."  
  
"Okay. Well, then, unless there's anything else…"  
  
"Wait," Beka says. "I'm sorry. I just, I'm kind-of still a little—I feel a little weird about saying anything, to other people."  
  
"I'm a pretty good listener, if you'll let me."  
  
Beka nods and says, "Alright. Alright, let's talk."  
  
They walk down the corridors to the officers' lounge and makes sure the door is locked so no one can intrude on the conversation. Beka confessed everything to Rommie, everything from Christopher to the miscarriage. Rommie listened; she listened like a friend, which was something Beka needed more of. By the end, Rommie gave her some advice and some comforting words for the future. She asked if she could tell Dylan, and Beka said it was fine. She decided she shouldn't leave it a secret anymore. They should know why she's been acting the way she has the past few days. And so the next few days were smoother and life was a little better with the support of her family. 


	19. Chapter 19

1 Chapter 19  
  
  
  
~ One day while she was on break, she heard a knock on her room door. She pears over her shoulder and sets down her coffee on the stand next to her, and gets up off the couch and says:  
  
"Come in, its open."  
  
And who should walk in, none other than Tyr. Beka turns almost instantly, with her back facing him, walking back over to the couch.  
  
"Hello, Tyr. What is it now?"  
  
She sits and takes a sip of her coffee, while Tyr comes to sit beside her.  
  
"I just came by…" he begins.  
  
"And…?"  
  
"And I just wanted to see how you were doing."  
  
Beka looks puzzled because she knows that Tyr would never say such a thing, much less to her.  
  
"Um, well…I'm—"  
  
Without warning, Tyr kisses Beka on the lips. She responds and kisses him back, leading into a full make-out session…  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Beka wakes up, sitting straight up in her bed, her lungs gasping for air. Upon her countenance is stationed a terribly, horrific look. Sweat also claims the face, and her large, blue eyes are wide and awake.  
  
"Oh, hell," she exasperates. "God, please no." 


	20. Chapter 20

1.1.1.1 Chapter 20  
  
  
  
The following day in command, Beka shyly eyes Tyr with tense thoughts of her dream…(excuse me) nightmare, and has a hard time concentrating on the task at hand. Rommie is the first to notice and walks up behind, then next to Beka. Beka jumps a little, but quickly recovers.  
  
"Jeez, Rommie, you gave me a scare there for a second," Beka says.  
  
"You seem more jittery than usual. Is something the matter?" Rommie inquires.  
  
"What, something wrong with me? Oh yeah, there's about a million things wrong with me…"  
  
"I meant something more…recent. I'm detecting an elevation in your heart rate, sweat secretions are above normal, and—"  
  
"Okay, well, maybe there's something…"  
  
"I think you should take a break," Rommie replies.  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"You're not concentrating on your job, I can tell. I will tell Dylan that you needed to take a break for a few hours. You can come talk to me—the other me—in the officer's lounge."  
  
Beka doesn't argue. She just wants to get out of that room and out of mind-set of Tyr.  
  
What is happening to me? Beka thinks to herself. I'm falling apart, Dylan must be getting fed up with me, and I haven't been out for fun in a long time. What am I turning into? Dammit Christopher…  
  
"You called?"  
  
Beka looks off to her side, while still walking towards the officer's lounge; she takes the long way around, trying to get her mind cleared before going in there. She sees Christopher walking along side with her, smiling.  
  
"Hello, Christopher. Good-bye Christopher." Beka sharply returns.  
  
"Awe, c'mon on. You've been pushing me out for weeks."  
  
"That's the whole point Chris. I want you out of my head. I don't even know how you got so tangled up in there to begin with."  
  
"Is that so hard to believe?" he says.  
  
"Just, please, go. I could really do without it today."  
  
Chris smiles some more. Beka notices and stops abruptly, facing him. She looks into his eyes steadily, and says:  
  
"What are you so smiley about?"  
  
His expression turns playful, and answers, "Nothing."  
  
"Tell me."  
  
"I just happened to see something that maybe I shouldn't have seen…"  
  
"About what?"  
  
"About you…you and Tyr…"  
  
He smiles some more, and Beka blushes, turning to walk on.  
  
She turns her head towards him, "I can't believe you would—"  
  
"Hold it! Before you go any further with that, I wasn't spying in on your dream. I just happened to cross pass it."  
  
Beka takes in a breath to start again, but is quieted again by Christopher, saying:  
  
"I know what's happening. And I just want you to know that I'm fine with it."  
  
Before Beka can say anything, she blinks and he is gone. She stops, then shakes it off and walks to the officers' lounge, meeting holo-Rommie there. She walks in and takes a seat on an over-sized chair.  
  
"Relaxed a little more?" Andromeda asks.  
  
Beka looks up, playing with her fingers as a sign of nervousness, "Uh, well, no."  
  
"Anything you want to talk about?"  
  
"You wouldn't believe me…"  
  
"Try me."  
  
Beka takes in a deep breath and exhales.  
  
She starts, "Okay, so, I've told you about Chris and everything else, but there's kind-of one thing I haven't said to you, or anybody for that matter."  
  
"What is it?"  
  
Beka takes a deep breath.  
  
"It's Christopher—I have these, I don't know, appearances of him, in the day time."  
  
"I don't understand, you have daydreams about him?"  
  
"There not dreams, Rommie. They're real, I know it," Beka says, then goes silent for a moment. "I guess that qualifies for being insane, doesn't it?"  
  
Rommie looks at Beka with a meaningful 'taken-pity-on' face.  
  
"Beka," she starts. "I think you should go have fun. Go dance and meet new people."  
  
Beka looks at Rommie with surprise.  
  
"Um, I'm sorry, what? 'Cause I could've sworn you just implied the fact that I should go to some rave and party to my hearts content and wake up the next morning with a hang-over."  
  
"Well, all except for the hang-over part."  
  
Beka eyes the holo-Rommie mysteriously.  
  
"Okay, who are you and what have you done with the real Rommie?"  
  
"Just be ready by eight, okay? I'll take care of the rest. Besides, it has been proven that getting out and having fun does wonders for the mental condition of humans."  
  
"And is anyone coming with me?"  
  
"Bring anyone you like," Rommie says.  
  
"Okay then, well, I guess that's it then. See you tonight."  
  
Beka gets up to leave.  
  
Rommie stops her though, "Beka wait. There's one more thing. The dream you had last night…"  
  
Oh, so close.  
  
"Rats…" she whispers to herself and sits back down.  
  
"Yes, that. Anything you want to tell me? Was it a dream of Christopher?"  
  
She lies to save herself the embarrassment, "Uh, yeah. A Chris one. Real bad."  
  
Despite Beka's efforts to cover it up, Rommie can tell she's lying.  
  
"Now, I know that's not the truth. You can tell me. Please."  
  
Beka hesitates for a minute, then confesses.  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
"Tyr!" Dylan laughs.  
  
"That's what she said," avatar Rommie says.  
  
"I know, but, Tyr?"  
  
"It's not uncommon for humans to experience abnormal dreams like these. Many times people will dream about kissing their brother or sister, or someone close to them that they know, but wouldn't do anything with them in the real universe. Sometimes they'll dream about the people they hate, or love and strange things will happen. It's just a dream, Dylan, I don't think there's anything we should be worried about."  
  
"If you say so," he says.  
  
He notices she's still standing, like there is something else.  
  
"Is there something else?" he asks.  
  
"I think she needs to get out more. So, I told her she should go have some fun at our stop tonight."  
  
"I'm negotiating some things on a drift that's like one big party. You're saying she should go?"  
  
"I think it's for the best."  
  
"Well, whatever's best, right?"  
  
Rommie nods her head.  
  
"I think this whole crew should go, personally."  
  
Dylan looks at her; "You think that?"  
  
"Just my opinion. Everyone seems a little uptight and maybe this could loosen everyone up a bit."  
  
  
  
"Well, then. I guess it's off to the wonderful land of raves we go. Thank you, Rommie, you can go now."  
  
  
  
Rommie smiles and exits quietly out the doorway. 


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21  
  
Music booms and crashes from the hanger deck. Harper and Beka look at each other and then out towards the noisy air. They see some doors down the hall that lead to "The Room". Beka is the first to walk up to the huge doors, which open from bottom to top, and enters the party. Harper follows her eagerly, then Trance, and Dylan and Tyr eventually also follow in. The music is fast and majestic. It scoops up the soul and intertwines it into the notes the second you walk into the door. From the entrance, the ceiling is high, but nothing really awe-inspiring. Once entering upon the dance floor however, the ceilings are wide and high; several floors set on one after another, as stairs would, and look like huge, over-sized balconies, so the DJ can still bring them the music. The entire place is flooded with every kind of creature that is imaginable, and when Trance walks in, it is truly so. Even a Vedran sits off to the side, mindlessly watching the lower species wasting themselves  
away. The lights flash and blink with the music, as if the music controls the lighting, and their colors blend to the mood. Beka sees small glow-sticks in some of the people's/species' mouths, using it as a type of pacifier so their jaws won't lock when they take drugs. It is a method used ever since places like this have been invented, and has worked for so long, it continues to be used.  
  
There are two chambers. The first one is when you first walk in. A bar sits off to the back, where some tables are also stationed. A Perseid can be seen serving drinks, along with two humans, one man, and the other woman. Lights reflect off the back of the bar onto the bottles and glasses, giving a nice, yet eerie feel to it. The Perseid looks up from cleaning his glass and sees Beka and Harper. He looks at them and smiles a very weird grimace of a smile.  
  
"Two born every minute," he says, referring to their depressed appearance, despite Harper's outward enthusiasm, which from a bartender's point-of-view is profit.  
  
The second chamber, is the dance, or rave, floor; the loud speakers emit a loud amount of music into the room. The lights in there are the blinking and color changing ones. The lights in the `bar area' are regular, but dim, and somewhat pitiful. Several drunkards lye across the bar table and the open tables around the area, while others dance into the bar, get a drink or two, then hop right back out onto the floor. The DJ's pit is stationed high, halfway to the second floor, and he spins out music for the mob. He is the king and they are his slaves of the music. Four floors create the dance floor. Vents air out the heat of the bodies (well, the ones that create heat anyway), and many armed guards patrol for any signs of trouble. The floors are like stairs ascending. Each level is very long, but the one above the other is slightly smaller with each intake. It is a breathtaking and dazzling sight all in one. For a drift like this, it isn't that bad. In fact, it's probably the  
only `party-drift' that any of them has ever seen that is really--well--nice.  
  
Beka sits down in one of the open lounge seats in the corner, while Harper gets some drinks. Trance sits opposite of Beka, and Dylan and Tyr proceed to their business with Mr. Yasser, heading to the upstairs rooms. A man from across the room eyes Beka. She notices but ignores the man. He seems a little familiar, but she can't be sure. The man gets up and walks towards Beka. His blue-dyed hair is more noticeable under the lighting, and his green eyes stare at Beka intently.  
  
"What does this guy want?" Beka says under her breath.  
  
Trance couldn't hear and asks, "What?"  
  
"See for yourself," she says and nods up behind Trance.  
  
Trance turns around in her seat and sees a young man with blue hair coming towards them. She then quickly turns to Beka.  
  
"Why is he coming over here?" Trance asks.  
  
"I don't know."  
  
The man arrives in front of Beka. His shirt is black and his pants are black leather. When they make eye contact, Beka can't help but feel some familiarity. She remembers someone's eyes being that kind of green, but she still can't decipher who it is.  
  
"Beka, Beka Valentine?" the man asks in a soothing tone.  
  
"Yeah, and who are you?"  
  
"You probably don't remember me, do you? It's been...a long time."  
  
"No, sorry. Maybe if you give me a name..."  
  
"It's Owen. Owen Green. Do you remember now?"  
  
Beka's eyes grow wide and her mouth drops to the ground in shock.  
  
"Owen? Oh my god, it's you!" she exasperates. "I hardly recognized you! Your hair, it's blue."  
  
"I could say the same thing about you," he says, inquiring about her hair.  
  
Beka blushes a little, then gets up to hug him.  
  
"It's good to see you again," she says as her arms are around his shoulders. "Gosh, it's been, what, fifteen years?"  
  
"At least," he replies. "Hey listen, some of my friends over there would love to meet you. What do you say?"  
  
"I've got the whole night off," she says, then looks at Trance sitting. "Hey, you didn't meet my friend yet. Owen, this is Trance; Trance, this is Owen...my um, friend back when I was just starting out."  
  
Owen sticks out his hand, "Nice to meet you."  
  
Trance accepts it, "Same to you."  
  
"Trance, do you mind if I go..." Beka begins.  
  
Trance smiles, "Oh, I don't mind. Harper can keep me company, if he comes back with those drinks soon..."  
  
"Okay then. Tell Dylan and the rest I probably won't be back tonight. I've got a lot of catching up to do."  
  
"Sure..."  
  
The two walk off to the other end of the room.  
  
Harper comes back with the drinks in his hand and sets them down on the coffee table in front of Trance. He looks up to see Beka going off with Owen and looks strangely at him.  
  
"Who's the guy?" he asks bluntly.  
  
"An old friend..." Trance replies.  
  
"Oh, I get it. He was one of her--"  
  
Trance interrupts him, "Harper you don't know that for certain. However, I do have a feeling that he was one her old...lovers, I guess you could say."  
  
"How old? I've never seen the guy."  
  
"Beka said it's been about fifteen years since they last saw each other."  
  
"Fifteen years? Really?"  
  
"That's what she said."  
  
"Wow..."  
  
Trance smiles to herself a little bit.  
  
"What are you smiling about?" he asks.  
  
"Nothing," she says.  
  
"Oh, no. Don't give me that. I know you...sort-of. You know something, don't you? Something's going to happen, right? `C'mon, spill it."  
  
"You wouldn't want to know..."  
  
"Oh yeah? Why not?"  
  
Trance stays silent and looks up into his eyes, not moving her head. Then Harper realizes.  
  
"Oh...that," he says sheepishly.  
  
Trance shakes her head, and says, "See, I told you, you didn't want to know."  
  
"So, she gets some tonight and I don't?"  
  
"I didn't say she was going to get anything tonight," she says.  
  
"Then what were you smiling about?"  
  
"I just told you..."  
  
"No, because...what a second, I know what you're trying to do. You're trying to confuse me so I don't know what you're talking about, and then I can give up and leave the subject alone, right?"  
  
"Yeah, pretty much," Trance says, nodding her head a little.  
  
"Well, good for you, it worked," Harper replies tiredly.  
  
Trance smiles and decides to start up a new conversation...  
  
*  
  
Meanwhile, Beka arrives at a group of people, whom she is greeted by right away. Five people make up the group; two other men and three other women. Owen introduces the first women by the name of Lauren. Her hair is straight and jet black. The make-up on her face is overly done and makes her look like a gothic type person, yet when she speaks, she sounds pretty nice and friendly. In this place, no one is what he or she seems. Her clothing is as average as the times permit. Nothing really special about this person except that there is a large tattoo on her left shoulder of some kind of a flag that Beka doesn't recognize. The woman says it's of where she came from, on Earth.  
  
The next person is of a man named Adam. He seems clean, but Beka has seen his type before. She can also see his eyes are a little off in color, which indicates he does drugs. Adam is a nice person though, and she doesn't hold his addiction against him. His attire is pretty much the same as Owen's except for that his shirt is long-sleeved and gray.  
  
The next two women that are introduced, however, do not appeal to Beka at all. For one, they have their eyes covered with sunglasses.... It doesn't take a genius to figure out that they take Flash. The one on the left has blond hair that is almost white, and the other has brown hair that has messy red streaks in it. Their names are Atonia and Ivy. Their nails are painted black, and their clothing is odd. Nothing matches at all, and it seems as though it was all thrown together in two seconds. Their voices are low and scratched because of the other drugs they took. Beka knows there is no heart, so to speak, in them. It is just empty and dark and cold. They are the absolute dregs of society. People would take pity on them and stare as they walked by. For these types of people, their lives are completely meaningless and they do nothing to try and improve them. Most of the time they find jobs with a con-artist or a high profile drug runner...or they sell themselves for miserable  
price. They are looked down upon and caste out of most places, but here they find refuge because this is one of a few places where nobody gives a damn what they do or who they are.  
  
The finale person Beka meets was Owen's best friend, Xan. He looks like Harper in some ways. The hair isn't blond, but it is spiked and his eyes are a light blue. He's short, like Harper, and wears like clothing. The only other difference is that this man has black fingernail polish on his fingers and no cerebral port on the side of his neck. He is friendly and witty like Harper is, only Harper would surpass his wittiness by a mile, but still, it is very similar.  
  
"Nice meeting..." Beka stops short and looks at Atonia and Ivy, then finishes, "some of you."  
  
The night drags on with music and dancing. Owen takes her aside to talk every once and a while, until the place announces that it's closing for the next few hours, to clean. The group disperses into their separate ways and tells Owen they'll meet up with him tomorrow.  
  
"Do you want to go to my place and talk some more?" Owen offers.  
  
"Sure, I'd like that," Beka answers.  
  
They walk to his room, on the other side of the drift, down a long wide hallway. It is clear so anyone walking in one of these can see the outside of the larger complex of the drift. Several other people are also walking along this way. The way the drift is designed is made so that smaller, more private sections branch off, away from the music and outsiders docking. Beka can see at least four other things like this while she is walking through the clear, tunnel-like hallway.  
  
When they finally get to the sectioned off area, they must go through a maze of hallways. Beka wonders how she'll ever get out if she suddenly wanted to leave. They finally reach Owen's room, and he punches in a code for the door to open. It does and they step in. The first thing that Beka notices is how surprisingly clean the place is.  
  
"You sure keep the place clean, don't you?" Beka notes.  
  
"Well, I don't have a lot to get it dirty with," he explains.  
  
She nods and sits down at a table. The room itself is a fairly good size. It's not big, but satisfying for one person. Little decorations of life hang everywhere. There's even a dartboard in the `kitchen' area. Over to her side, she notices a CD player hooked up to some speakers.  
  
"You have one of these things?" she inquires about the CD player.  
  
"Yeah, I got that a while back from a junk yard. Didn't cost me hardly anything. It was in okay shape, so I fixed it up and voila, instant music...if you've got the music for it."  
  
"You have discs for this thing? How many?"  
  
Owen smiles and opens a closet door. He takes out two boxes and sets them on the table.  
  
"That many," he says.  
  
"Where did you find all these?"  
  
"Here and there. They really aren't that hard to find, if you know where to look."  
  
"Wow...you really have changed."  
  
She opens up one of the boxes, finds it all there, and starts to sift through it all. CD's from the 20^th and 21^st centuries, on old Earth calendar of the English, that is. Finally, she finds one and opens it, then places it in the player. The button to play is hit and music emits itself from the speakers. Though neither of them can understand the words, they like the melody and beat. It's a kind of rock, which was pleasing to the ear after going to a mega-party rave all night. Beka smiles and looks at Owen.  
  
Beka starts, "So, besides being an engineer, what else do you do? I mean, what's your life like?"  
  
"It's different," he says. "Sometimes I get to go out with a cargo ship with some supplies and see other places, but otherwise I'm here."  
  
"Anybody special in your life?"  
  
He smiles, "No. You?"  
  
"No. Just me," she says, then pauses a moment before speaking again. "But there was this one guy...it doesn't matter now anyway."  
  
"What, why?"  
  
"He died..."  
  
"Beka, I'm sorry."  
  
Owen puts his hand on hers to give comfort and show a type of support. Beka doesn't cry, nor does she whimper. She simply lowers her eyes and relaxes her face.  
  
"Do you want to talk about it?" he offers.  
  
"No. I'm over it now. I am," she reassures herself.  
  
"Okay," he says and brushes her hair.  
  
The quietness of the room shows itself at last. The only noise, which isn't really noise, is the music, still playing in the player. It is soft, and instead of making the silence go, it seems to accent it somehow. Beka feels like a live statue, cold and empty. The only thing she can think about is nothing and everything, which is really nothing at all. The focus is not there and her head becomes dizzy and dumb. Her eyes fall heavy; then, a spark of something tingles through her body. The warmth of Owen's hand breaks the previous feelings and everything is lightened again. Everything is in perspective. She looks up at him. Those eyes, so green with feeling. She can't remember what went wrong so long ago. Finally, she asks him:  
  
"What went wrong?"  
  
Owen looks back at her and says, "What do you mean, with us?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
He ponders this question for a minute, then answers, "I guess we were too young. You had your life and I had mine. Then, we both just stopped caring and left each other. Well actually you left me...but I guess that doesn't really matter now."  
  
There is long pause. Beka feels a little guilty about leaving him.  
  
"I'm sorry I hurt you," she finally says.  
  
"I'm sorry I didn't try harder," he replies.  
  
"I guess we're both sorry then, right?"  
  
"I guess so," Owen says.  
  
Another one of those long pauses comes and there is silence once again, until Owen breaks through it and says:  
  
"But you're back now. That means something, right?"  
  
"Yeah, I guess it does."  
  
The two get closer and seem to be infatuated, but a ring from the door interrupts the moment.  
  
Owen's face shows frustration and his throat lets out a moan of displeasure. He reluctantly gets up after the second ring and opens the door to see Xan standing there.  
  
"What is it Xan?" he sighs.  
  
Xan pears into the room and sees Beka at the table looking disrupted somehow.  
  
"Sorry man, I didn't think anyone else was here," he says, then looks at Beka, "Hey, how are ya?"  
  
"Fine, thanks," Beka says--almost sarcastically.  
  
"Well, you mine-as-well tell me what you came here for now," Owen says.  
  
Xan looks to his side, then says, "Right, well, I sort-of need--needed a...uh, a drill...yeah, but I see you're busy, so I'll just get one later."  
  
"No, no. Let me get it for you. After all, you won't go away until I do, right?"  
  
"Yeah..." Xan says.  
  
He looks over to Beka while Owen is getting the tool.  
  
"So, you and Owen go way back, huh?" he asks.  
  
"Yeah, way back," she says without looking at him.  
  
"So, how far back are we talking about here? Like, childhood, or what?"  
  
"He was..." she pauses for a moment, then decides to continue. "He was my first love, let's just say."  
  
"Oh, so he was your first..." he trails off. "Never mind."  
  
Owen comes back into the area.  
  
"Here you are. Now, go," he orders Xan.  
  
Xan smiles at Beka and yells, "Hey, it was nice talking to you! Owen's sure a lucky guy!"  
  
"Have fun with whatever you're building!" she shouts back.  
  
Owen closes the door and turns back to Beka.  
  
"What did you tell him?" he asks.  
  
"Nothing," Beka sweetly responds. "Just that you were the first guy I slept with."  
  
"Oh," he replies. "Well, do you think we can still manage?"  
  
Beka smiles and laughs, "That was the worst pick-up line I have ever heard! You're going to have to try harder than that."  
  
"Okay," he says and walks up to Beka.  
  
Owen leans down and kisses her, holding his hands on her face. Beka responds and kisses him back, swept in a sudden burst of passion. Owen breaks the kiss and barely has the breath to say:  
  
"Was that better?"  
  
"Yeah," Beka replies, also breathing heavy. "That was better."  
  
She brings him back to her, and kisses him deeply, returning the gesture. You can imagine what you like, but what happened next was in a state of lust and love, or rather in between the two. Beka would not be coming back for the night, and no one would disturb them until "morning". It was sounds of promise and regret, yet all the while nothing was more splendorous and indulging than it. Some would say it was wrong, others would say it was fine, and the other few would feel it was a way for the two to vent their worries and problems. Perhaps it was, and it may work...for a time. They have known each other for many years. How then can one say it was an act of lust? At the same time, how could one say it was an act of love? It is neither, therefore it is somewhere in the middle, balanced and neutral, fun and unforgettable. And as the music continues to play, their emotions bounce off the walls and seem to light the whole room in every color.  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
Beka is the first to wake. She looks around for a moment. Owen is still sleeping, so she decides to get up out of bed. Her mind is flooded with thoughts of what she has just done. She starts to become scared and a little confused of why she feels scared, and can't think of anything to do except run. She begins to put her clothing back on and gather her things when Owen begins to wake. Beka silently walks out of the room and towards the door. She presses a button and the door opens. Looking back one more time, she exits and begins down the corridors.  
  
Not more than a moment later, the door opens again and Owen comes out. He is dressed only in his pants and his hair is a blue mess. Beka can hear him, but presses on down the hallway. Owen runs up in front her, preventing her from going anywhere.  
  
"Beka wait," he says.  
  
"Don't Owen, please."  
  
She tries to get around him.  
  
"Why are you leaving?"  
  
"Because...I don't belong here, with you."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Owen, I really don't need this right now."  
  
She tries to pass him again, but he doesn't allow her.  
  
"Did I do something?"  
  
Beka shakes her head, "No, you didn't do anything. I just can't stay here. I can't do this again."  
  
"Can't you tell me what the matter is?"  
  
Beka smiles a little and puts her hand on his shoulder. She leans in and gives him a kiss on the cheek, then steps back.  
  
"Good-bye Owen," she says and walks past him.  
  
Owen stares at her walking away. When she finally turns the corner, he moves back to his room slowly and notices a picture turned upside down on the floor. He picks it up and turns it over. It is of a group of people: Harper, Beka, Trance, Dylan, Rommie, Tyr, and Rev. It was taken after the first world was signed to the Charter as a type of reminder of that day. Everyone finally joined together, working as a crew, and showing friendship all the while. It was a picture of the family that Beka had came into and the family that she would keep, no matter the odds.  
  
"Well done Valentine," he says to himself. "Well done."  
  
~~~~~~~~~  
  
Beka looks back as she's turning a corner and runs into someone, almost falling back.  
  
"Sorry," she says and looks up to see Tyr standing there. "Never mind. I take that back."  
  
He rolls his eyes a little and looks the other way.  
  
Beka asks in a simple tone, "What are you doing here?" 


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22  
  
THE NIGHT BEFORE: INSIDE THE `RAVE', MEETING WITH MR. YASSER  
  
Tyr looks over at Dylan, then at Mr. Yasser and his "associates", his hand near his gun just in cast things fall apart. He can see the sweat coming down from Mr. Yasser; he's about to break. Tyr knows it, Dylan knows it. It's only a matter of time now.  
  
"Mr. Yasser, please, all we want is your cooperation," Dylan says.  
  
"Yes, yes. You've already said that," Mr. Yasser returns. "And you still haven't answered my question, captain. What's in it for me?"  
  
"Mr. Yasser," Dylan begins. "If you let us use this place as a holding, if you will, then not only would you be protected from outside attacks, but you will gain profit from it."  
  
"Really, how so?"  
  
"More cargo ships would be willing to come here once they find out it is a safe place to come to, which would increase your trade and therefore profit from it."  
  
Mr. Yasser ponders this statement for a while, then answers, "Alright, I'll do it. I'll sign whatever you want me to--for the new Commonwealth, of course."  
  
He smiles a greedy little smile, while Dylan brings out the documents to sign. Tyr still stands guard, still awaiting any trouble that may come. Mr. Yasser signs feverishly away at the documents. There aren't that many documents, so the process is over within a few minutes. Dylan stands up and sticks out his hand towards Mr. Yasser.  
  
"Pleasure doing business with you," he says.  
  
"Like-wise, captain," Mr. Yasser returns. "By the way, when will I expect your...troops, shall we say, to arrive?"  
  
"A few days, maybe less."  
  
"Good. I believe we are done here then. We can all finally go home."  
  
Dylan nods and leads the way out the door, followed by Tyr, and then Mr. Yasser and his associates. They go their separate ways, and Tyr and Dylan push their way through the mob on the floors to get out. Dylan sees Trance across the room, sitting by herself. He walks over with Tyr, still right behind him.  
  
"Trance, where's Beka and Harper?" Dylan asks.  
  
She smiles at him and answers, "I think they're busy at the moment. Why, was there something you wanted?"  
  
"No, just curious. Where are they?"  
  
"Well, Harper is over there," she points to the bar where Harper is talking to a blond-haired woman, and then in the opposite direction at the dance floor, where Beka is dancing with Owen and everyone else in the place. "And Beka is over there, with her friend."  
  
"She seems to be having fun," Dylan states--she really was too; just letting loose for once in a long while. "You said that the blue-haired guy is her friend?"  
  
"She said he was. They go way back, you know."  
  
"Oh..." Dylan pauses. "Do you know anything about him?"  
  
"No, not really..."  
  
"Is he dangerous?"  
  
Trance laughs, "Him? Dangerous?"  
  
Suddenly, Tyr blurts out, "He's not right for her."  
  
Trance and Dylan look at each other, then back at Tyr.  
  
Tyr realizes and rephrases, "He seems suspicious to me. Maybe I should keep an eye out for her."  
  
"Sure Tyr," Dylan says. "You stay behind and Trance and I will go back to the Andromeda for the night."  
  
"Fine," Tyr says and turns to sit on a stool at a table.  
  
The night dwells on, the music enchanting, the people dancing `till they can't dance anymore. He watches Owen and Beka sitting down to talk every once and awhile. He finally decides to order a drink, and when it arrives he sips on it, barely. Then, the DJ announces that they will be closing for a few hours, and he watches Beka leave with the man. He gets up and follows them to Owen's room.  
  
Hours go by and he can't stand it anymore, he has to know how she doing. A short little man, who strangely reminds him of Harper, walks by with a light step. Tyr grabs him by the collar of his shirt and pulls him aside. The little man starts shaking and becomes nervous.  
  
"Don't kill me! Don't kill me!" he shrieks.  
  
Tyr muffles the man's mouth with his hand.  
  
"Quiet! I'm not going to hurt you! I need you to do something for me," Tyr says sternly.  
  
The little man stops shaking and brings it down to a slight quiver. He looks up to Tyr and asks:  
  
"What do you want me to do?"  
  
"You know who lives in room 05-17, correct?"  
  
The man nods.  
  
"Good, because I want you to knock on the door and ask for something."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Do I need a reason?"  
  
"What should I ask?"  
  
"I'm sure you'll think of something," Tyr says, and pushes him towards the door. "Now, go!"  
  
The man walks gingerly up to the door and presses a button on the side. The door opens and reveals Owen, who doesn't seem to notice Tyr standing off to the side in the corner of shadows. Tyr can vaguely see in, but he can't see Beka. When he sees that Owen leaves the doorway, Tyr gets the man's attention.  
  
"Little man," Tyr whispers.  
  
The man turns and says, "My name is Xan..."  
  
"Yes--Xan--listen...can you see her?"  
  
"Who? The girl? Yeah, I can see her. She's sitting at the table."  
  
"Does she look okay?"  
  
Xan looks at Tyr with curious eyes, and asks, "Are you some sort of old boyfriend?"  
  
"No, I'm supposed to look out for her well being."  
  
"Oh...I see..."  
  
Tyr becomes impatient, "Well, ask her something. I need to hear her voice."  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"I don't know," Tyr thinks for a moment, then answers, "Ask her how far they go back."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Do it!"  
  
Xan reluctantly turns and asks the question. Beka answers and they exchange some words. Then, Owen comes back with the tool. Xan says good-bye to Beka and the door closes. Tyr pops out of the corner. Xan stops and sighs.  
  
"Look, I'm not doing anymore of your stupid errands for you. So if you mind, I'm going to go home now with my new drill that I don't need."  
  
"Fine."  
  
And so Xan leaves, while Tyr stays behind. His Nietzschean hearing could listen to their conversation, but he left when things started to get...not so conversational. He went down the hallway and waited there all night. When several hours had passed, he woke up and started to walk down the hallway. Upon turning the corner he bumps into someone.... 


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23  
  
Without an answer, Beka decides to shake her head and walk on. Tyr looks on after her before he decides to follow. Beka reaches the main complex of the drift. The music from the rave room booms through the thick walls, and people can already be seen walking through the door, even though it was technically still early in the morning. Beka decides to enter it to get a quick drink before she leaves, to maybe drown her thoughts for a moment, not noticing that Tyr is still following her.  
  
The bartender smiles at the "fresh blood" that walks into the area. He smiles a fake but convincing smile to her and the one whom is following her. She doesn't notice and keeps walking until she sits on a stool at the bar table.  
  
"What'll it be?" the bartender asks.  
  
"Do you have something really strong, or really potent?" Beka asks.  
  
"Rough night?"  
  
"More like a lifetime of roughness," she frowns and looks off to the side.  
  
As he fixes her drink, Tyr sits down a couple seats away from her. Her head is already down, buried in her arms, so she doesn't see him.  
  
Then the bartender asks him, "What'll you be havin'?"  
  
"Whatever she's having," he says and points...  
  
The bartender shakes his head in warning, and says, "I don't know if you'll want what she's having," then he leans down and whispers, "I think she's had a rough night."  
  
"I want what she's having," he says again.  
  
"Alright, but don't say I didn't warn you..."  
  
He sets a dark, almost pitch-black drink in front of Beka, and begins to make another for Tyr. Beka jumps a little when the bartender sets it down, and she sits up taking a sip. Her face squints at the taste, as one would do when he or she licks a lemon.  
  
"Yeah, that's the stuff," she says and takes another sip.  
  
She looks over just then to see her follower sitting a few seats down. She takes a bigger sip of the drink and sets it down. The bartender sets the same drink in front of Tyr, and he starts to drink it, smelling it first and putting up a disgusted expression on his face. This drink is made for the depressed, therefore it only tastes good for the depressed and horrible to the neutral. Beka takes another sip, each one getting bigger and bigger until it turns into a normal sized gulp, still looking curiously at Tyr sitting just a few seats down. Her mind begins to become blurry and the images begin to become disfigured.  
  
"Drugs are quick," she says to herself.  
  
She gets up and wobbles over to Tyr, her drink is three-quarters done.  
  
"Don't I know you?" she says in a slightly slurred voice.  
  
Tyr just stares at her for a minute and finally answers, "You should get back to the Andromeda."  
  
"Yes, of course!"  
  
"Of course, what?"  
  
"I know why I need to go! Go back!"  
  
"Yes, well, they are probably all still asleep; you woke earlier than I expected."  
  
She looks at him, then turns for her drink and takes another large sip. Tyr has hardly drunken the first few sips of his drink, and wonders how anyone could possibly want to drink it.  
  
"I ran away, you know," Beka says out of nowhere.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"From him, I ran away from him."  
  
"Who? That blue-haired man?"  
  
"No, from my father, when I was eighteen...I ran away from him."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"I just couldn't take it anymore...but then, of course, I come crawling back to him, just like he told me I would. You know what's a pretty thing? Those lights...they're like a messed up painting, a lot like me, you know? Man, this stuff goes to your head quick."  
  
The bartender overhears and tells him, "The drink has that effect on people. They start telling you about everything in their lives. From whenever their memories started to now, all the gory details."  
  
"What? You've got to be kidding me."  
  
"I don't kid about this. They go for hours on end...until its effects start to wear off...or until they pass out."  
  
Tyr looks up into the ceiling with some frustration, then back at Beka, whom is still rambling. He decides to push away the drink and carry her back to the ship. At first she refuses...  
  
"No, no! I need one more, just one more!" she says.  
  
...But then is too tired to argue anymore and allows him to lift her up and carry her out. He quickly pays for the drinks before taking her out and he heads back to the Andromeda.  
  
Once on the Andromeda, Tyr brings her to her quarters on the Maru and lays her down in her bed, gentle not to hurt her.  
  
"You know, Bobby and Chris were the only two guys I've ever felt something for. Except, with Bobby I didn't really get anything out of it. Well, I shouldn't say I didn't get anything out of it, `cause I did...but Chris was just so nice to me. He was good. He was really good."  
  
She opens her eyes more and smiles up at Tyr.  
  
"What are you smiling about?" he retorts.  
  
"You're not all `Mr. Macho'. I knew there was a place somewhere behind all that muscle where you had a heart."  
  
"Thank you, I think."  
  
"What's happening to me Tyr?"  
  
"You're drunk, that's what's happening to you."  
  
Beka sighs, "No, I mean--"  
  
"I know what you mean," he interrupts.  
  
"Then why--"  
  
"I'd prefer to talk to you while you were sober, and perhaps not so emotionally confused."  
  
Beka frowns and replies, "Okay...whatever. I think I'll go take a shower now. You know, wash away all the confusion."  
  
Beka slowly gets up, holding her head, watching the world spin and her vision go blind for a few seconds.  
  
"What the hell did that Perseid put in that drink!" she exasperates. "God!"  
  
She finally stands up and shuffles on over to the bathroom and the door slides open then shut again. A few seconds later the door opens and she steps out and says:  
  
"You don't have to stay, you know. I'm probably going to take a while."  
  
"Right. I'll go then," he says and gets up off the bed, walking towards the door and exiting.  
  
Beka shrugs a little and closes the bathroom door, then starts the shower. 


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24  
  
A few hours later the crew begins to get up, one by one. First Dylan, then Trance, and finally Harper. Beka has fallen back asleep in her quarters, while Tyr is reading on the obs. deck. Harper walks in her room.  
  
"Hey Beka," he says.  
  
Beka opens her eyes, and takes in a deep breath and sighs, "Is it morning already?"  
  
"Actually, it's almost noon..."  
  
"How much is almost?"  
  
"About an hour or more. Jeez, Beka, you look like hell, no offense."  
  
Beka sits up in her bed, "That's what I get when I let a Perseid fix a drink for me."  
  
"How much?"  
  
"A lot? I don't know. I can't remember at the moment."  
  
Harper comes and sits down on the bed.  
  
"So...I'm guessing things didn't go to well with Mr. Blue."  
  
"I guess you could say that..."  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"Stuff happened," she says and stands up to stretch.  
  
"Well, I'm going to go get something to eat," he says. "You coming?"  
  
Beka smiles and replies, "Yeah, I'll be there in a while."  
  
"Okay," Harper replies. "See you there."  
  
"Bye."  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
That night, the Andromeda Ascendant leaves port and rides away from the drift. Beka decides not to drag over the experience. Instead she leaves for the Maru to listen to some music. She rifles through her CD collection, which she finally got back from her brother last month, and found one that seemed nice to listen to. It was a mix of different people. She remembers it was the one Bobby gave to her such a long time ago, after one of the breakups. She puts it in and sounds begin to fill the Maru. Beka went to go lay down in her room and relax for awhile, take her mind off things.  
  
After some time, Beka decides to get up and walk around. She finds herself ending up facing the mirror and looks at herself simply, quietly. Then, she smiles to herself thinking of the good times and the bad entanglements she's been in. It seems very amusing in a way; the things she has done and seen. The predicaments, the quagmires, she has gotten herself into and the ways she has gotten out of them. After everything, she still stands and she can still smile. One day, everything will come down to a moment and she will eventually die, but for now, things are pretty good. For now at least.  
  
The End 


End file.
